Air Dry
by psychoticateddrebel
Summary: Bella is a famous teen singer who has it all, except she still feels empty, so she goes back home, to Forks, to try and find the missing piece. Only, she finds a little more than she bargained for. OOC AH AU. I suck at summaries, please read.
1. La La Land

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters (but I do own the OCs, like Chloe, Craig...), and all song lyrics belong to Vanessa Hudgens (Drive), Demi Lovato (La La Land) and Chris Daughtry (Home [although I did change this one around a little to fit the story better.]).**

**A/N: I got a new inspiration today. The other story, Back Home, is still on!! Please R&R!! The entire story is gonna be done from Bella's POV. **

Chapter One ~

"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting to you, LIVE in Seattle for the FIRST TIME EVER, IZZY SWAN!"

I flinched at the thunderous roars and applause that sounded at the mention of my name, before the adrenaline kicked in, and I grinned, running out onto the stage with my microphone in hand.

"HELLO SEATTLE!" I yelled into the mike, scanning the huge crowd. I saw the familiar faces of some of my old friends, Angela, Mike, Tyler, Jessica and I grinned even wider. "Now, most of you don't know this, but I grew up in Forks, Washington," I paused as the crowd thundered, "before moving to Hollywood. So this first song, is for my old friends, who are in the crowd today!" I smiled, before continuing, "Jessica, Angie, this one's for you!" I laughed quietly as Jessica squealed and as the band started, I drank in the sight of the huge mass of bodies, yelling my name, I grinned into the spot light, letting the feel of the stage drown me, and sang.

"I don't claim to know it all,  
I've had some wins; I've had some falls.  
Road is long, and time is short,  
I don't want to spend too much time and thought."

And as always, as I sang, the memories flashed through my mind. This one, I wrote the summer I turned 16, the summer I spent in Phoenix, Arizona with my mother, it was the summer I finally allowed myself to dream.

"I don't intend to play it safe,  
I gotta move to find my place,  
I wasn't born for small town crowds,  
I know what I want and it's not in this town.  
I don't wanna just survive,  
I'm gonna hit the road, I'm gonna drive…  
I've hit the highway,  
And I'm not coming home I'm gonna drive,  
I'll do it my way: I'll call you on the phone when I arrive,"

Charlie had freaked out and ordered me to turn right back when I'd called him from a hotel in California, but I hadn't bulked. I told him calmly and reasonably that I hadn't worked my Saturdays' off in Port Angeles for nothing, that this was what I wanted, this was my dream, and if he couldn't be happy for me, then I'd never come home again. In the end, though I felt pretty bad for threatening him like that, he'd accepted my decision. Although I did have to talk him out of coming down to California to live with me, to which he'd nearly popped a vein and yelled "I'M NOT ALLOWING YOU TO STAY THERE ALL BY YOURSELF! YOU'RE A MINOR FOR GOD'S SAKE! ISABELLA!"

But we'd arrived at a compromise when Renee moved to Florida. I'd agreed to live with my mum and her new husband, Phil, and Charlie had backed off.

"It's all I got and I'm not gonna stop for no one  
In my way as long as I'm alive,  
I'm gonna drive…  
Everything I said I meant,  
Nothing comes by accident,  
I'll change my name,  
I'll change my face,  
To want something that sir,  
Is no disgrace…"

Izzy Swan. I smiled in satisfaction as my manager flourished a CD cover in my face. They'd told me that Isabella was too old fashioned, and stoutly refused the name Bella because, as they'd said, it sounded like a dowdy, cowgirl-name. And that wasn't the image, they'd told me. Cooed into my ear. Izzy Swan, the new age girl from a small town.

"People love shit like that," Chloe, my manager said. "You're gonna be big, Babe. A major star! Maybe even better than Britney, cause you got soul girl!"

I smiled, as the song pounded to an end. I had made it big. The last few months had been exhausting, but I was happy, satisfied. Excited. Everyone had loved me, my debut album had sold out in a matter of hours. It shot to triple platinum in it's second week. Hollywood had dubbed me it's new IT girl. I was the golden one, and it rocked.

"Did y'all enjoy that?" I shouted into the mike, throwing a casual glance at the crowd. I knew they were pumped, I could feel their energy, and it was fuelling mine. I grinned, "this next song, is one of my personal favourites!" The crowd cheered even louder as the band started playing again. I grinned at Craig, who was my favourite bassist; he mouthed "WHOA" and widened his eyes dramatically. I had to stifle a laugh as my cue to sing came up.

"I am confident,  
But I still have my moments,  
Baby, that's just me…  
Well, I'm not a supermodel,  
I still eat at Ronald's,  
Baby, that's just me…  
Well, some may say I need to be afraid,  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well everything's the same  
In the La-la land machine…"

I was floating on a cloud as the crowd lapped up my songs greedily. There was just something so giddying and satisfying about being in the spotlight and I grinned as the thought flew through my mind. 'Wow,' I mused, 'who would've ever guessed that clumsy, small town Bella would ever love the limelight?' But deep down inside, I knew the truth. _Bella_ didn't love the spotlight, it was _Izzy_ that did, which was why as the final song came up, a little part of me fell silent. Today was the last day of my tour, and Seattle was my last stop. I had planned it this way, because I'd decided that I wanted to go home for senior year.

"Now, for my next song, this is something that means a lot to me." The crowd fell silent. I looked up into the camera as I smiled, "This one's for you, daddy."

"I'm staring out, into the night,  
Trying to hide the pain  
I'm going to the place where love  
And feeling good, don't ever cost a thing,  
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain."

I thought of all the nights alone in my apartment. All the lonely days and my heart twisted. It was unimaginable that Izzy Swan should be so alone. The golden child of Hollywood, front page of every fashion magazine, tabloid and newspaper, but deep inside, I knew that the face plastered across the world was just a mask. Bella was dying, suffocating and my heart was burning from the hole that leaving home had created. I missed everyone back in Forks, Washington. Sure, the rain and the town itself had been stifling, but it was _home_, and it was where _he_ was. Edward, my best friend.

"Well, I'm coming home,  
back to the place where I belong,  
and where your love has always been  
enough for me.  
I'm not running from, no,  
I think you got me all wrong,  
I don't regret this Life I've chosen for me.  
But these places, and these faces are so cold,  
So I'm coming home,  
Yea, I'm coming home…  
Be careful what you wish for,  
Cause you just might get it all,  
You just might get it all  
And then some  
You don't want  
Oh, be careful what you wish for  
Cause you just might get it all,  
Yea, you just might get it all…  
Oh I'm coming home, oh,  
Back to the place where I belong  
And where your love has always been  
More than enough for me,

So I'm coming home,  
I'm coming home…"

And I smiled. I was going home, and as I thought that, _home_, a warm tingly feeling spread throughout me, and I just had to grin as _his_ face crowded my mind.

"Goodnight Seattle!" I yelled, and then I ran into the welcomed darkness of the backstage, a huge contrast to the glaring white of spotlights. Within the safe confines of my dressing room, I shed off the mask that was Izzy, pulled my blonde hair into a high ponytail and pushed my bangs away from my face. As I stared into the face of Izzy Swan for the last time that night, I smiled, and removed the thick, heavy stage make-up.


	2. Daydreamer

**A/N: So this is the chapter where she goes home. It's a little long but bear with me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Twilight characters, they belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. **

Chapter Two

I was shaking with both excitement and trepidation inside, as the jet descended onto the runway. It was the first time I'd been home since I left two years ago. I'd spent my seventeenth birthday in California alone, and as I thought that, I felt my heart clench in fear. I hadn't said goodbye to any of them back then, I'd just upped and left, and since then, I hadn't been in contact with them either. I'd been so caught up in my new life, with the road trip around America, and with recording my album and writing new songs, too caught up in my new friends and new faces to ever write them. What if they didn't forgive me?

As I stepped out of my private jet and walked towards the car, a shiny black Aston Martin Vanquish, I thought back to my old Chevy truck that sat quietly in the garage of my home in Florida. I missed it. Bella sighed as Izzy snorted. I felt torn, torn between two faces and two people, but as the cameras starting flashing around me, I snapped my face up and grinned. I could just imagine the headlines that would grace the world tomorrow, or maybe even tonight, "Teen Sensation Goes Home."

Home.

I was afraid. Afraid of facing Charlie, whom I'd seen only once after, when I'd asked him to accompany me to my first Grammy awards, where I'd won my first for Best Pop Vocal Album. But I was more afraid of starting school again, where I'd have to face _them_, the Cullens. Alice, Edward and Emmett.

We'd grown up together, all four of us. They were triplets and I'd always envied the fact that they had each other, but they'd accepted me, plain, clumsy me into their exclusive group on the first day of grade school…

I'd walked into class that day, with my hair all messy and my smock all dirty, (Renee had left by then, and growing up with a dad, I knew more about baseball and innings than I did about what to do with a hairbrush) and the kids were all sitting in a circle around the teacher, I'd stood by the doorway, unwilling to enter, afraid to go in, when suddenly, this precocious dark-haired girl stood up, even then, Alice had been tiny, and beautiful, she stood up, and she'd just shouted "WHO ARE YOU?!" and began bouncing excitedly. The teacher, Ms. Faulker, I believe, had stood up and led me into the middle of the circle, where I'd stood awkwardly, blushing like crazy, and introduced me to the class. "Everybody, this is Isabella Swan, she's Chief Swan's daughter." I'd stood there in the middle, beet red, glancing down at my feet, until Alice bounced into the centre, took me by the hand and dragged me to sit next to her. "I like your clothes," she'd whispered after I sat next to her, and I'd grinned. By the end of the day, she'd declared me her new best friend, and promptly dragged me to her mother's car. It was then that I'd met Emmett and Edward.

"These are my brothers!" She'd declared, bouncing excitedly in the middle of the car seat. "Mama, this is my new friend, Bella!" I smiled shyly from beside the car door, "I'm Isabella." I'd mumbled.

"Hello Isabella, I'm Esme." I looked up and saw a beautiful woman with the kindest, warmest eyes and grinned.

Then Alice piped from the back, "Bella's coming home with us!" I looked up alarmed, until Esme smiled at me reassuringly.

"We'll call your father from the house, would that be ok?" I relaxed, smiled, nodded my head and crawled into the car to sit next to Alice. From the shotgun seat, Emmett grinned at me. "HI!" He yelled. I laughed as Alice grinned. "He's my twin! He's Emmett! And this here," she pointed to the bronze haired boy next to her, "is Edward! He's my twin too! We're triplets!"

"Hello." Edward had mumbled quietly, staring out the window immediately. I blushed and looked down into my lap as Alice chatted all the way to her house. After that day, the nickname, Bella, had stuck, and it became a routine for me to go to the Cullens house until Charlie came home and picked me up.

I looked up as I stopped in front of the familiar house: home. The colossal house stood in the middle of nowhere, with the same white walls, surrounded by the same dreary woods, except this time, there were two new cars sitting in the driveway. Charlie's police cruiser I had recognized, but the shiny yellow Porsche and gigantic jeep, I didn't.

I got out of my car and walked up the driveway deliberately, slightly puzzled, but still very much frazzled by the prospect of coming home again. What would I say? I wondered vaguely to myself, until suddenly, I found myself tackled to the ground. Out of breath, I looked up into the grinning faces of two of my childhood friends. "EMMETT! ALICE!" I screamed.

"BELLA!" They screamed back. Alice started squealing and bouncing, so did Emmett. I had to laugh. They hadn't changed all that much, except maybe Emmett had grown and doubled.

"WOW! Look at you Em!" I'd grinned. "You're like the size of a football field now!" He laughed, a loud, booming sound that shook the ground.

"Look at you, huh! Bells!" but his grin suddenly turned sheepish, "Or is it Izzy now?"

Looking down, I mumbled. "Bella's fine." The awkward tension in the air was quickly cut short by Alice as she jumped and grabbed my hand, dragging me into the house. "OHMYGOSH! WE HAVE SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON!" she yelled excitedly. "CHARLIE! CHARLIE!"

I looked up to see my dad leaning against the doorway, grinning proudly. His brown eyes were crinkled around the edges, I found myself slightly surprised at his appearance, wondering when he got old. "Welcome home, Bells," he whispered in my ear, and suddenly, I was sobbing into his arms. He patted my back awkwardly as he stepped away from me alarmed. "Sorry dad," I grinned sheepishly.

"I've missed you." He said, looking away, and I grinned, linking my arm with his. "Miss you too, daddy." Then I kissed him on the cheek and walked into the house, which still looked the same.

Same pale blue walls and tattered old couch in the living room. I grinned. It was nice to be back in a place where things didn't change constantly every five minutes. Suddenly, I was very much aware of two new presences in the living room. Sitting awkwardly on the sofa was a striking blonde boy and leaning comfortably against Emmett was a beautiful blonde girl. They looked identical, with silver blonde hair and large, icy blue eyes. I froze until Alice bounced forward and grabbed the hand of the blonde boy. "Bella! This is my boyfriend, Jasper Hale."

Boyfriend?

Then she pointed at the striking blonde girl hanging on Emmett's arm. "And that's Rosalie Hale, his twin, also Emmett's girlfriend!" I unfroze.

"Hi," I smiled, unsure. "I'm…"

"Izzy Swan." Rosalie drawled from the corner, cutting my words off, "we know." The air that radiated off her was menacing and it made me uncomfortable. Jasper smiled awkwardly from beside Alice and mumbled an apologetic "hi" before looking away again.

The silence in the room was almost deafening as I felt Rosalie's glare piercing into my soul. Two seconds home and already a girl hates me. How awesome. Izzy snorted, as Bella cringed. The funny thing was, I didn't know who I was anymore, which reaction to respond to: be Izzy, the diva, and flare up at Rosalie? Stomp my foot and demand that she get out? Or be Bella, calm, shy, collected Bella and blush and hurry away? A phone ringing saved me, but my head snapped up as I realized that it was my voice singing.

"Daydreamer, sitting on the seat  
Soaking up the sun he is a  
Real lover,  
Making up the past and feeling up his girl like he's never felt her figure before  
A jaw dropper  
Looks good when he when he walks,  
He is the subject of their talk  
He would be hard to chase,  
But good to catch and he could change the world with his hands behind his back,  
Oh…"

"What, Edward?!" I heard Alice sing into the phone, my head snapped up. Edward. Internally, I cringed. He wasn't here… "yes, yes, we're coming home now. Bella's here Eds! Do you wanna – "

But Edward had cut Alice off, and whatever he'd said had made her angry. I took in the subtle change that most wouldn't notice; just the little turning down of her lips and the subtle way her eyes shifted, until Alice slammed her phone shut and bounced over to me. "Bells. We gotta go, do you wanna come along? Mum and dad would love to see you again!" her eyes pleaded me as she turned her lips into a pout. I shook my head as I looked to my father for some help. He grinned and lifted his arms in surrender, as if to say, 'it's Alice's call' and after being her best friend for years, I knew that he was right. It was Alice's call. I slumped forward half-heartedly. I would love to see Esme and Carlisle again, and as I thought his name, my heart soared, but there was just this tiny niggling feeling within me that worried. I knew Edward better than anyone else, and the way Alice had frowned for a fraction of a second back then was an omen. There was just this bone within my body that could feel it.

But I was home, and at that, I grinned. "Yea, I guess I'm coming then." Alice giggled and dragged me out into the driveway. As I headed over to my car, I heard Rosalie gasp from behind me. "Oh my god. Is that a Vanquish?!" she whispered with reverence. I grinned and nodded.

"Yea." Then, almost on impulse, I'd quickly added, "d'you wanna drive it?" I saw Rosalie's eyes bug out, and something within me yelled a silent victory as a grin spread over her face.

"HELL YEA!" she yelled as she bounded over. "Sorry babe!" she yelled across her shoulder at a pouting Emmett as she walked gracefully over to me. The warm smile that graced her face left me slightly breathless as I grinned back in return. The ride to the Cullens mansion was in no way awkward as we talked about everything and anything. I laughed and giggled so much as Rosalie recounted her first date with Emmett.

"He was like all 'so you wanna go out babe?' and eyeing me as though I was a piece of meat on display!" she declared half smirking, half disgusted. Then she laughed. "I like you Bella."

I froze before a huge grin spread across my face. "Thanks," I'd whispered. The moment in that car between us was almost sacred. Then Rosalie looked at me sheepishly.

"I'm sorry about that moment before." I looked at her and shook my head, conveying no worries, I wanted her to continue. "It's just… well, Jazz and I moved here in junior year, maybe a month after you left, and we befriended the Cullens, and Edward, he was a wreck. A complete mess, like… massive!" I flinched as I imagined Edward as a mess. "And well, when I found out you were the cause of it, I was angry. I mean… I couldn't imagine you just upping and leaving one day without even saying goodbye to any of them. Then you became famous, and Alice and Emmett were crowing about you, completely disregarding Edward's pain, and it angered me even more. Then you came home, and those two were acting as though it was the best day of their lives, but I saw the way Edward froze in front of the TV screen last night." I grimaced, what had I done? "And I saw that hurt that flashed through his eyes. I'm not saying that I won't hate you if you hurt him again, but for now, I see us being friends." She finished, a little lamely, but she smiled tentatively, as though this was her peace offering. I grinned.

"I'll take what I can get," I smiled confidently, but a little piece inside me was shattered to know that Edward was hurt, and that he was hurt badly. But I didn't have time to ponder over the best course of action, because at that moment, Rosalie had pulled to a stop outside their mansion and I felt my breath hitch as I saw Esme and Carlisle standing on the porch, as though welcoming their wayward child home.

Tears clouded my vision as I walked into Esme's arms. "I'm so sorry," I heard someone sob, and realized vaguely that it was me, and Esme cooed gently and Carlisle patted me on my back. "We're so proud of you," he whispered and Esme beamed.

"Hush now, child," she said as she wiped my tears away with a Kleenex. "You look glorious!" I blushed and looked down. She laughed as she brought my face up, "You've been so wonderful! Edward has all your CDs you know. He listens to them at night," she whispered the last part a little conspiratorially into my ear. "He thinks we don't know, but we hear him."

For some reason, hearing her say those words, only filled my heart with dread, and as I looked past her shoulders, I was frozen into place by a pair of burning green eyes.

**A/N: YAY! THEY MEET! haha. cliffie. :P REVIEW!! then i'll continue. :P anyways. ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: The song (ringtone) is Daydreamer by Adele. I thought it fitted Edward slightly in this story, anyways, just imagine the tune to be slightly more upbeat. (:  
PS. I know I said in the first chapter that Bella's hair was BLONDE, but trust me, as it continues, it'll be explained, but just to satisfy you guys, she's bottled blonde. As in it's dyed, ok? So this is about Bella rediscovering herself again. **


	3. Tim McGraw

**A/N: OK. So this chapter is actually a little messy, but I kinda like it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Twilight characters, nor do I own the song, it's actually Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift, although I did change the lyrics to suit the story.  
Yes. I am aware that the change of the lyrics is lame, but bare with it. **

**Please note, I am going to be changing lyrics around a lot to fit in with the story, as the story progresses. It can be almost like a musical kinda thing. (: as usual, please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!! It would make me so so so happy. (fake cries) **

Chapter Three

_For some reason, hearing her say those words, only filled my heart with dread, and as I looked past her shoulders, I was frozen into place by a pair of burning green eyes._

There he stood, leaning against the banister of the stairs, looking gloriously beautiful. My heart stuttered to a stop as I drank in the sight of the beautiful, bronze haired Adonis. My heart started again as he threw a wayward, crooked smile at me. "Bella." He said, and I smiled tentatively back. The way he smiled and the way he talked, this wasn't the Edward that I'd left behind. The Edward that I'd left behind had been tall, awkward and lanky. His voice then had been squeaky and gruff. But this boy standing in front of me, he was anything but the Edward I'd left behind. I guess sometime during my internal questions, my jaw must've dropped open, because Edward was suddenly standing in Esme's place and chuckling gently at me. "Breathe, Bella." He whispered. I did.

"Edward…" I started, he held up a hand to silence me. Then he turned and walked into the living room. The grace that leapt of him was unnerving, so was the way he silenced me. I stood frozen in the doorway in shock, wondering just how much things had changed in the past two years.

Wild shouts of laughter startled me from my reverie. I walked silently towards the entrance of the living room. The sight that greeted me was almost too beautiful. Edward laughing on the couch, Emmett; with his head thrown back in laughter, with an arm wrapped around Rosalie who was giggling, and Alice and Jasper in the middle of the room, imitating some absurd dance move they'd just seen on TV, and Esme and Carlisle, wrapped together on the sofa, their eyes glinting with amusement and love as they watched the antics of their children. I stumbled a little, as my heart clenched painfully in my chest. I was all too aware of the moment and felt as though I'd intruded on something intimate. In a house where I'd spent most of my childhood afternoons, I suddenly felt like an outsider. I turned from the living room and fled from the house, throwing my car into reverse, I slammed my foot down on the pedal and sped off on the dirt road away from the Cullen mansion. In my mind, an annoying little voice nagged, "just like last time."

But things weren't like _last time_ anymore. Things had changed. I wasn't Bella Swan anymore and I couldn't pretend to be. I would still start senior year in Forks High because once upon a lifetime ago, I'd promised Alice that we'd graduate together. As I sped down the highway, not really caring which way I went, I found myself traveling down an old road I hadn't seen in a while.

The edge of the forest flanked one side of the path, whilst the other was overlooking a village and a beach. La Push. I sighed. What was I doing here? I wasn't sure what made me stop, but I did. I pulled over in the parking lot near the beach and took a long walk down the sandy stretch. It was cold and I shivered, pulling my jacket tighter around my body. I'd forgotten how cold Forks could be… But that wasn't all I'd forgotten. I thought back to the words Rosalie had said in the car, about me hurting Edward, and my heart thumped painfully in my chest. It'd been doing that a lot today, and I wondered vaguely if there was something wrong with me.

I don't know how long I stood staring at the waves lapping up onto the cold beach, all I know is that I felt so alone, and so tired, and suddenly, a truck engine rumbled by behind me, and as I twisted around, I caught the fading shadows of an old Chevy truck, and suddenly, I remembered a large, handsome boy, with long floppy hair and tanned skin, and new lyrics flowed through me.

"He said the way my brown eyes shine,  
put those Georgia stars to shame and I said  
that's a lie.  
Just a boy a in a Chevy truck  
It had a tendency of getting stuck,  
In back roads at night and I was  
Right there beside him  
all summer long  
and then the time we woke up to find that  
Summer gone

When you think Jacob Black  
I hope you think my favorite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the shore  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Jacob Black  
I hope you think of me."

Jake Black… it'd been 3 years since I'd thought of that name. The boy who'd towered above me and stolen my heart 3 summers ago: I'd been fifteen when we first met. We'd been down to La Push for fun; it was one of those rare bright, sunny afternoons and we'd wanted to enjoy it. We, being the Cullens and me. And it was on this very beach that I'd first laid eyes on him… he was down on a road trip with his mates.

They'd been playing beach volleyball when we'd stumbled onto the beach, and suddenly, the ball had hit me on the head. I'd fallen amidst raucous laughter from both Emmett and Edward, but _he_ had bounced over to check if I was all right. He'd been genuinely worried, and as I looked up with a reassuring smile, I'd had my breath taken away. The stranger that stood in front of me was beautiful, with golden brown skin and the most adorable hair that flopped messily over his eyes. My heart and stuttered and tripped, just as my tongue had, and I'd blushed blood red to his booming laughter. He held his hand out whilst biting his lip and helped me up and had whispered "sorry" into my ear before asking us if we wanted to play with them. Edward and Emmett had enthusiastically agreed, whilst Alice and I had decided to sit it out. The boys shrugged and walked away, but before _he_ did, he held my hand and brought it up to his lips. "By the way, I'm Jacob Black."

That was the beginning of my first romance. We'd spent that entire summer together. Forks had an unusual dry spell that year and we'd been able to enjoy sunny, warm days. it was the best summer I'd ever had, and every night, I'd sneak out of the house to meet up with him. He drove his friend's Chevy truck around the place, to pick me up, to drive to places I'd specified him to bring me to, but usually though, we'd laze on the beach, glancing up into the stars. It was on a night like this when he told me that he was building up his own car from scratch, said it was an old vintage rabbit. I didn't get it, he didn't really explain, instead, he stared straight into my eyes and told me that my eyes made the Georgia stars seem dull. I'd laughed and told him that was a lie, but he shook his head and said, no.

That was the night I'd had my very first kiss.

Then all too soon, he had to leave. A week before summer officially ended, he and his friends piled into the truck and drove away from Forks. The night before, he'd held me tight and handed me a slip with his address on it, begging me to write him. I'd promised him I would, and for the rest of the night, we held each other, falling asleep under the stars. The next day, he left, and Forks' unusual dry spell ended.

"In a box beneath my bed,  
there are letters that you've never read  
from three summers back.  
And it's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet  
and looking back on all of that it's  
nice to believe

That when you think Jacob Black  
I hope you think my favourite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
when you think happiness

I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Jacob Black  
I hope you think of me…"

As I glanced up at the sky, I noticed a twinkling star in the distance. Shivering in the cold, I hurried into my car and dug out my old notebook, writing down the song that flowed through my veins. Once it was done, my hand hovered on the blank line that read 'title', and tremblingly, I wrote "Jacob Black" across the top, and as if to finalize it, I underlined the name.

After that, I'd sat in the warmth of the car for a little while longer, lost in my memories, before the vibrate on my phone dragged me back to reality. With a little sigh, I dug around in my bag looking for my sidekick.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the receiver.

"BELLA?!" Alice shrieked, I cringed away from the phone as she shouted, "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Alice, calm down, I'm at La Push."

"WHAT?! WHY?!"

From behind her, I heard someone tell her to calm down and to stop shouting.

"Because Alice."

"Because what, Bella?" I flinched from the cold, hurt tone that she was using and against my better judgement, I began to pour my soul out to her.

"Because it was stupid of me to believe that I could just come waltzing back into your lives again after having disappeared for two years. Because it was selfish of me to do that. Because I didn't even realize how much hurt I'd be causing when I left, and because I never even said goodbye. Because Alice."

There was silence on the other end, then suddenly, a sob. "Oh Bella! Bella!" I was shocked. I'd hurt her and she was crying?! "It's not your fault." She continued sobbing. "We forgive you."

I started to bawl, and after a second, Alice said, "Don't move. I'm coming to get you." Before I could even say anything, she'd hung up and I was left to stare into the silent blackness of the night around me.

Long before the yellow Porsche rounded the bend, I knew it was Alice from the purr of the engine. Suddenly, all was quiet as she cut it off and bounded into the passenger side of my car. Before I knew what was happening, we were both holding onto each other and sobbing into each others' arms.

I don't remember much of what happened, just that I kept sobbing "I'm sorry" and she kept sobbing "I'm sorry", but what I do know is that we were best friends again, had always been, and nothing could ever change that.

The rest of the night, we spent in quiet, just talking. Talking about anything that came to mind, about the past summers. We caught up with each other. She told me about her shopping trips in Paris, about jasper, about school, I told her about the recording deals, about the concerts and the award shows.

When the sun began to rise, we were both shocked into silence by the beautiful pinks and oranges that filled the air. Forks' sunshine had never been so beautiful before, and suddenly Alice whispered. "It's a sign. It's a sign that you're home Bells." Suddenly, we were both crying again.


	4. Autumn and Me

**A/N: YAY! CHAPTER FOUR! OK. Disclaimer: song belongs to Taylor Swift, it's Fifteen. All Twilight characters do not belong to me, despite the fact that I want them.**

Chapter Four

I woke up at twilight, and in a rare moment of silence, I felt at peace with the world. Like everything was good again. I thought back to this morning, after the sun had rose, Alice and I had stumbled blearily back to my house and collapsed onto the couch, where we'd spent another two hours just talking, and occasionally, crying. After that, Alice had left, and I'd stumbled into bed and slept.

Five minutes later, my phone rang, I groaned. Looking at my sidekick, I realized it was Chloe, so with a grimace, I accepted the call. "Yes?" I mumbled groggily.

"Izzy!" she chorused, I could imagine her beaming into the phone. "Guess what?" I stifled a yawn as she continued without pause. It had been a rhetorical question anyway. "You've got a recording scheduled for next week!"

"Huh?" I gasped, not really comprehending what she'd said. "A recording? Next week? How can I have one? I'm not flying all the way down to California! I'm on break Chloe!" I heard her sigh and imagined her running her fingers through her immaculate blonde hair as she rolled her blue eyes.

"Duh. Another studio, in Port Angeles?" she replied, probably whilst checking her nails. As her words sank in, I started panicking.

"WHAT?! NO! I mean. NO!" I stuttered. "I don't have any new material. That's just… no. I just…"

"Chill. Breathe Izzy, BREATHE!" she barked into the phone. "I'm sure you'll have thought of something by then, ciao darling, oh! Before I forget, there will be a driver sent to pick you up Friday afternoon." And then she was gone. I gaped into the enveloping darkness for ten minutes after, unsure of what to do. Life was just too crazy at the moment, I wasn't even sure of how to get through a day of senior year, and I had to deal with this?

Suddenly, my mind traveled involuntarily to the first day of freshman year. I'd been so nervous that day, and Alice hadn't been around either, because the Cullens were all out sick with a flu bug. I remembered feeling annoyed that they'd managed to catch one even though it wasn't flu season, and feeling very, very afraid because I was all alone.

"You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors it's the  
morning of your very first day,  
you say hi to your friends,  
you ain't seen in a while,  
try and stay out of everybody's way.  
it's your freshman year  
and you're gonna be here  
for the next four years in this town.  
Hoping one of those senior boys  
will wink at you and say  
you know I haven't seen you around  
before…"

Then I paused, with my pen poised, hovering across the neat lines on the paper. I wasn't sure how to continue the song.

Just then, Charlie's voice boomed from downstairs, "Bells! You got a visitor!" I scrambled out of bed. A visitor?

"Er. Who is it dad?" I yelled back, suddenly, my door opened and my room was flooded with light. "Me."

**A/N: YES! A CLIFFIE! :P I could be mean and say 'i won't upload the next chapter till you give me 50 reviews! but i shan't, cause i'm nice like that. XP**


	5. Tell Me Why

**A/N: HEHEHE. You liked that don't cha?! :P **

**disclaimer: twilight dunn belong to me. :( **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Cause they make me happy! (:**

Chapter Five

My mouth dropped open in shock as Edward stood in the doorway awkwardly. "Hey Bells." He breathed after about five seconds, I was still in shock; he chuckled as he moved into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed. He looked around the room whilst I tried desperately to unfreeze my jaw. "You know," he started conversationally, "I haven't been in here since…" he trailed off.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to blurt out, finally, but cringed as I realized how rude my words sounded. He cringed too.

"I don't really know." He said slowly, staring at where the slit of light from the door fell onto my bedspread. "You left." He whispered brokenly after a few seconds. I stared at him, pained. And he looked up at me with the same expression on his face. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he cut me off and continued, "You just left. One day, I came over intending to ask you to come over and you were gone. Not one note, not even a phone call. Your clothes were packed and you were just… gone."

I stared silently at him as tears began to cloud my vision. Edward sounded so broken, so pained, but he wasn't done. "Then I start seeing you on TV, and the whole town's abuzz with news of _you_, but for months, no word _from_ you. Why?"

"I'm sorry." I whispered brokenly.

"Yea. So am I." Edward said, and a tear slid down my face. "I'm only here because Alice told me to, and for the sake of a friendship that I believe we once had."

I tried not to choke as his words sank in. 'a friendship we once had', even though I hadn't expected him to welcome me back with open arms, I hadn't expected him to be this angry either, and his words were so painful, cutting fresh slices through my heart. "I just… got too caught up in everything else." I finally said. Edward deserved the truth. It was the least I could do considering all that I owed him. He snorted bitterly from the end of my bed. "It's not that I didn't want to write," I continued, "it's just… it was too hard. There was just so much going on, and so much changing all the time. And I know what I did was wrong, it was selfish, but I didn't come home expecting you to forgive me. I came home because… I was tired of being in a place where everyone was fake. I enjoyed the fame and the fortune, but I was just so tired, and always just so empty," I sucked in a deep, shaky breath as I stared at Edward. He looked at me, unblinking, cold as marble, and I opened my mouth and continued. "I came home because I wanted to make right what I did. Because after two years away, I finally realized how everything I did was immature and wrong. I wanted to write, but this isn't exactly something that you can write in an e-mail, is it?" I laughed slightly bitterly.

Edward sighed. "I'm not forgiving you just cause you said sorry." He finally said. I looked up at him, even though I'd expected nothing less, it still hurt me. I nodded though, and he continued. "I miss you Bells." My heart jumped into my throat.

"God. Edward, I missed you too." I sobbed. "Every single minute. I couldn't be happy because you guys weren't there to enjoy it with me." He finally smiled.

"I know."

I looked up shocked. "Bella," he chuckled darkly, "I think I'll know when you're faking happy after years of being best friends." I struggled for breath as he leant towards me on the bed. Reaching up to my hair, he twisted one strand around his finger before staring straight into my eyes. "You look great blonde." Then he hugged me, and I held onto him whilst tears streamed endlessly down my face. I knew I was forgiven, but even though things wouldn't be the same again, I still had my best friend back, and for now, being here, in his arms, I felt ok. "I missed you too." He whispered into my ear, rubbing circles gently against my back.

After five minutes, I pulled back. "So," he started, lifting a corner of his lips into the crooked smile that was just mine, "wanna tell me why you're blonde?" I chuckled and punched him on the arm.

"Long story."

"I got time." He grinned cheekily as he shifted and settled himself comfortably on my bed, resting his back against the headboard. "Why? You in a rush to go somewhere?" and there, the crooked grin that was mine graced his face again.

"They thought it would be better if I was blonde, y'know?" I started. "Said it would make me look more like a small-town girl who managed to break free from her small world. And," I giggled flirtatiously, putting on a fake, bimbotic voice, "blondes like, have more like, fun, y'know?"

The bed shook as Edward laughed. I grinned. Yea, things wouldn't ever be back to the way they were before I left, but given time, things could change again, and as long as I had Edward, Alice and Emmett back, I could take one day at a time, and just live life minute by minute.


	6. Fifteen

**A/N: WELL WELL WELL! (: 4 chapters in one day. who would've thunk huh?  
PLEASE REVIEW! :D SRZLY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. The song is the chorus of Fifteen by Taylor Swift. (: **

Chapter Six

Sunlight streamed through the window, rousing me. I blinked my eyes sleepily as the pillow I was lying on groaned. My eyes shot open. Pillows didn't groan! Then, the previous night floated back to my memory and as I drank in the sight of Edward sleeping in my bed, I blushed, and for some reason, my heart jumped a little. A sigh of satisfaction escaped my lips as a large grin involuntarily broke across my face. Edward groaned again and shifted a little, before tumbling onto the floor. "OUCH!" he yelled as I laughed hysterically.

"Oh! That's real nice!" he grumbled from the floor, shooting me a dirty glare as he reached for the hand I'd stretched out, but instead of pulling himself up, he shot me a mischievous grin and pulled me down so that I'd crash onto the floor next to him. Laughing wildly, he shot me his crooked grin and my heart stuttered again. "Oh! That was funny was it?" I mock glared at him, as I lay spread-eagle on the floor.

"Oh man! You should've seen your face!" he laughed, imitating me. at that, even I had to laugh.

"Ohh-hohoho!! You laugh now Mister, but just wait till I get my hands on you…" I trailed off as I began to attack him, tickling and poking him. He squealed like a little girl and I just had to stop as wave after wave of hysterical laughter wrecked my body. "Oh my god!" I gasped. "You..." giggle, "squealed!"

Edward just continued thrashing on the floor, until he regained his breath. Then he rounded on me. "It's not funny!" he yelled, "That was underhanded! And uncalled for! You cheated!" he fake-pouted, at that sight, I had to laugh and rumple his already messy hair. He just looked too cute. Suddenly, my breath hitched in my throat, as my brain comprehended the thought that just flew threw my mind. I froze as I realized how close we were. Our legs were entwined and our lips were inches apart from each other. My breath hitched, and his did too, as we laid on the floor, gazing into each other's eyes. The laughter died from his gaze as his face became very serious, I was suddenly all too aware of how he seemed to be glowing from the morning sun and of how gorgeous he truly was. We were broken from our reverie by an excited squeal of "MORNING BELLA!" and a booming, "OH MY GOD!"

We quickly jumped apart as Alice and Emmett stood shocked at the doorway of my room.

"Er, we er. Erm. I." I heared Edward stammer. "I was erm… just gonna… leave! Right! Leave!" I glanced up at him, he was blushing a shade of red that had yet to be invented. I started laughing. The absurdity of the situation was hilarious. Then, Emmett's booming laughter joined mine, followed shortly by Alice's then, Edward's. And suddenly, we were kids again. Just the same four kids who used to play hide-and-seek and catching after school. Just the same four pre-teens who hung out and played video games and watched scary movies and had sleepover parties. The same four kids who had suffered through braces, growth spurts and pimples together. Who had been there for each other's first crush, first dates and first kisses.

Suddenly, I knew how the chorus should sound.

"Cause when you're fifteen  
and somebody tells you they love you,  
you're gonna believe them.  
And when you're fifteen,  
feeling like there's nothing to figure out  
Well, count to ten,  
Take it in, this is Life  
before you know who you're gonna be  
Oh, at fifteen."

Alice, Emmett and Edward just stared at me. I blushed crazily, "I was writing a new song." I mumbled shyly. Alice squealed.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S AWESOME!"

I grinned crazily as Edward and Emmett nodded.

**A/N: Yes. I am aware that it's short, but I don't care. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! and the next chapter shall be up. (: yea. if i don't get 5o reviews I'll discontinue _(BUT I REALLY DON'T WANNA SO PLZ REVIEW!!)_**


	7. Crush

Chapter Seven

I took a deep breath as I stared nervously out the car window. "C'mon Bella, you can do this!" I said to myself as I looked at the office building in front of me. My first day back in Forks High school… I know it's crazy to be nervous, especially now that everything's good with Alice, Edward and Emmett, and now that I've made friends of Rosalie and Jasper, but I just couldn't help this crazy feeling of fear from bubbling up inside me. "This is absurd, Bella," I told myself, staring at my reflection, "First sign of insanity, talking to yourself. And besides, if you can stand up on stage and face thousands of people, why can't you go into the office building, ask for your new schedule and face a school with only a couple of hundred?"

The pep talk worked. I dragged myself towards the office building and found myself face to face with a woman with unnatural red hair. I cleared my throat. She looked up and her eyes widened in recognition. "Ms. Swan!" She flustered. I grimaced. "Welcome to Forks High, let me just say I am SUCH a huge fan!" she simpered. I stood awkwardly by the front desk, waiting for her to give me my schedule so that I could be on my way, but judging by the expression of absolute adoration on her face, that wasn't going to be soon. I cleared my throat.

"Erm, thank you, Ms…" I glanced at the tag on her desk, "Cope, but I'll just get my schedule and be on my way." I looked at her with a pointed expression, she flushed and mumbled, "oh, of course, how silly of me."

She handed me my schedule and a map of the school, as well as a slip that I was to take to all my teachers and have them sign before bringing back at the end of the day. I took the papers and left, rushing back into the cold of Forks and hurrying back to my car. I drove to the main student lot and sat in the warm comfort of the car memorizing my schedule before a tap on the window jolted me. Startled, I glanced up and saw Alice's beatific smile.

"Hey!" I grinned as I stepped out of the warm car, she hugged me and dragged me over to the entrance of the hall, about three dozen heads were frozen in shock as I walked past them in the lot.

Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were standing by the doorway and as we entered, they grinned widely. "Hey guys!" I grinned. Emmett thumped me on the back as he slung an arm around Rosalie.

"So Bells, what's your first period?"

"Erm. English, I think, yours?"

"Biology." Emmett said as he made a face. My face fell as I realized that our schedules were completely different, in fact, we didn't have any classes together at all. Alice sighed.

"Well, there's always lunch! And of course Bella's gonna sit with us, aren't you?" she asked, her eyes narrowed as though daring me to say no. I laughed and bit my tongue.

"Of course I'm gonna sit with you guys! Who else would I sit with?!" Alice sighed in relief and nodded her head happily, before dragging Jasper down the hallway to her first class. Emmett followed, dragging Rosalie along. As they left, Rosalie threw me an encouraging smile, feigning confidence, I smiled back before making my way through the hallway of frozen students.

Just as I was about to enter the English classroom though, all hell broke loose as a freshman girl managed to find her tongue again. "OH MY GOD! IT'S IZZY SWAN!" she yelled, and suddenly the entire student population had flooded into the hallway and swarmed around me. I stepped quickly into the classroom with my eyes wide open and stumbled into someone very large.

"What is the meaning of this?" came the booming, authoritative voice of the very large person behind me. I flushed as I pulled myself straight.

"Sir!" squealed the pipsqueak who had started the pandemonium, "that's IZZY SWAN!" she whispered conspiratorially. I flinched.

"Yes, I am aware of that," I glanced up at the teacher quickly, however, my expression of shock soon turned into gratefulness as he continued, "however, this is a _school_ and this is _my_ classroom. You will _not_ under any circumstances come into this class unless you are a SENIOR in AP ENGLISH! NOW GET OUT!"

The freshman flinched under the teacher's stony glare and fled out of the classroom before he slammed the door in the face of the rest of the astonished students. "Well, Isabella Swan."

I grimaced as I straightened. "Yes sir?"

"Welcome to Forks High." He grinned. "I'm Mr. Lloyd, and I hope you truly enjoy your senior year. Now, don't think that just because I'm a huge fan of your music I'm going to allow you to slack off. On the contrary, since I know you can rhyme so well, I'll expect even more from you, understood?"

"Yes sir." I replied, blushing crimson as I handed him the slip for him to sign. "Oh and sir, thank you." I whispered gratefully as he signed and handed the slip to me.

"No problem. Now," he turned to the class, "I would ask you to introduce yourself, but I'm sure your classmates all know who you are, so why don't you take a seat in the back, next to Ms. Weber?" he pointed to the empty seat next to Angela, I almost sighed with relief as I made my way to the back of the classroom.

I felt the heated gazes of my classmates as I walked the short length to the back. The people here weren't the ones I was worried about, after all, I'll grown up with most of them, and as I walked past, they flashed me admiring smiles, there were some infatuated stares from some boys, but those, I ignored. Jessica flashed me a big grin as I walked past her desk, I grinned back and as I sat down in the empty desk, I whispered a 'hey' to Angela, who beamed back at me as she reached over and squeezed my hand.

"I'm so glad you're back, Bella!" she whispered happily as she turned to the front of the class. I just smiled and sat through the rest of the lesson, which was spent discussing Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. Mr. Lloyd provided new and amazing insights into the classic Shakespeare play and encouraged us to participate and contradict him when we saw fit. As I stared straight into the curly brown haired, blue-eyed professor in front of me, I suddenly flushed as I realized how young and how handsome he was. He had a certain chiselled beauty about him that screamed classic sophistication. From beside me, I heard Angela sigh as he repeated something in his strong, baritone voice.

I decided I really liked English.

**A/N: YES YES! Bella has a CRUSH on a certain English teacher, who is a BABE I tell ye. A TOTAL HUNK! Haha. Anyways, please, please, PLEASE REVIEW! I SERIOUSLY WANT 50!! (: I'm working on the next chapter soon, so here's a little spoiler, I think I might include a lunch scene and Edward just might have a girlfriend, but you know, that's all just might, conjecture, you're gonna have to gimme 50 reviews first! (:**

**And to all the people who've reviewed, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! It's seriously made my day! Anyways, I've started school again. Today was the first day of school after spring break, so it's back to slogging through IB. ARGH! Speaking of which, my first IA is coming up soon. Math. GAHH! Shoot me! :P**

**Oh yea, before I forget, ****disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**** Damned unfortunate. Ahwells. REVIEW PEOPLE!**

**SERIOUSLY! REVIEW! :P**

_**Up Next in Air Dry:**_

… _Tossing her long blonde hair behind her, she leaned up towards him for a kiss…_


	8. To Stay

**A/N: OK. So someone threatened me by saying that if I made Edward have a girlfriend, she/he will stop reading, but in my defense, it makes for a better story, and I have this perfect song that I just need to use, so Edward really does need to have a girlfriend, but not to worry, everyone knows that they'll end up together in the end right? But in true Bella-Edward fashion, they need to have a lot of heartbreak dotting the way, no?  
So please, please, PLEASE don't give up on this story yet. And I know it took me longer to upload the chapter this time round, but I've just started school again, and I recently got my IA on Math, so I can only upload/work on my stories once a week. Anyways, here's two chapters this time round though! :D **

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! I'M REALLY HOLDING OUT FOR MY 50 REVIEWS!! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward Cullen or any other characters. **

Chapter Eight

I had a huge smile on my face as I walked down the hallways with Angela, trying to ignore the open-mouthed stares of the people around me. As I entered the cafeteria, Alice, in true Cullen fashion jumped onto the plastic chair and started waving her hands about, screaming "Bella! Bella! OVER HERE!"

I blushed a bright pink as a hundred heads swivelled over to the entrance. Rosalie snorted as I reached the table in the far corner of the room, "way to make an entrance, Bella," she grinned. I mock-glared at her and flipped my hair behind my shoulders, and in a diva-voice I said, "well, duh, honey-pie."

We all burst out laughing after that.

"SO!" Emmett grinned, I tensed in my seat, "how's the first day so far?" I relaxed as an involuntary smile tugged at the corner of my lips. Rosalie and Alice shared a brief, knowing glance at each other before turning onto me. I gulped and inched my chair back a little.

"SPILL!" they demanded as I blushed again. Damn genes!

"It's nothing," I mumbled, "I just… had a good English class." Suddenly, they both giggled, with that damned annoying knowing smirk on their faces.

"Oh yea," Rosalie said, still smirking as she arched a perfect eyebrow up, "Mr. Lloyd is definitely… interesting." Alice and I burst out giggling at that comment, much to the amused frustration of the boys. Suddenly, I realized that Edward wasn't around. Curious, I glanced around the cafeteria.

"Hey guys, where's Edward?"

Was it just my imagination, or did they look a little… guarded?

"Er… well, Bells," Emmett began, staring resolutely at the ceiling above us as though there were some kind of Da Vinci painting, or in Emmett's mind, probably a picture of Candy Mountain and Charlie the Unicorn, I glanced at him impatient, he cleared his throat and continued, "Edward doesn't really… sit with us."

"Why not?" I asked, genuinely confused and curious. For as far back as I could remember, we'd always been together, and that included lunch periods. It'd always been just exclusively us and the people around us had long learnt to not try and change it.

But… you know the saying; curiosity killed the cat. At that very moment, something shiny caught my eye and I twisted in my chair to look at the other end of the cafeteria. There, surrounded by the cheerleaders and the football jocks, stood Edward Cullen in all his glory, but the worst part was, hanging from his arm, was a blonde haired girl that I knew all too well, and hated far too much.

Tanya.

Suddenly, as though she could feel me looking at her, she glanced up, and caught my eye. Smirking, she slowly stood up, grabbing Edward and turning him around. Tossing her long blonde hair behind her, she leaned up towards him for a kiss.

My heart spluttered, stuttered and… shattered. I gasped as a million emotions flashed through my mind. Betrayal, hurt, anger, disappointment, resentment, disgust… betrayal. I clutched my chest as I stood up shakily, my vision began to blur and my head began to spin and a small, detached part of my brain warned me to stand up slower, but for the most part, my mind was screaming "GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE!"

And I ran.

I think I heard vaguely, someone, or maybe several someones, calling my name, but all of that didn't matter, because all I could see was him kissing her back.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	9. Mercy

Chapter Nine

I didn't understand why.

Edward knew how much I loathed her. We'd been enemies since the first day of second grade when she'd moved here and decided that she wanted Edward to play her husband in our game of house. And after that, when he'd rejected her to play tag with Emmett, Alice and me, she'd made it her personal goal to make life miserable for me. It didn't help that she'd been the picture of angelic perfection as a kid, with luscious golden curls and rosy pink cheeks, the kind that graces the TV screens because of their cherubic sweetness.

In third grade, she'd messed up all my crayons. In the fourth grade, she'd cut off the head of my one single Barbie doll. She'd landed me in the punishment corner more times than I could count and each year, the things she did only got steadily crueller.

In seventh grade, when we'd all began to mature and change, Tanya seemed to skip the whole awkward, shooting-up, gangly limbs stage and became this fully fledged sex pot with pouty lips and legs that went on for miles. It didn't help that she'd developed breasts before the rest of us, and that she'd still had the sleek, platinum blonde hair. Obviously, her looks cemented her Queen Bee status. Girls like Tanya were what Hollywood mean girls were based after.

I had been naive enough back then, to believe that she'd changed and matured as much as her looks had, but I was sorely mistaken, if anything, her hatred for me seemed to have increased tenfold. In eighth grade, she told everyone that I was a lesbian; needless to say, I'd been a social outcast after that. Edward had stubbornly stuck by my side and defended me, much to Tanya's chagrin. When we were foureen, I suddenly realized why she hated me so much, it was because I had the one thing that she could never have, and I took solace in that fact, and life was good.

Edward had been there to hold me through the nights when everything was unbearable, where the teasing in school was too much. The other girls called me horrible names, like "slut" and "whore" and told me that I didn't even deserve to be born. At that age, you tend to believe them. And Tanya did the worst thing ever, she told me that I was a mistake, and that was why my mother had left. _That it was all my fault. _

The night after she told me that, I sobbed brokenly, while Edward rubbed circles into my back, telling me that she was wrong. And that even if I was a mistake, he was glad, because if my parents hadn't made that "mistake" than he wouldn't have met me, and where would he be if that were the case?

After that, it became easier to accept Tanya's mocking because I had Edward. I'd always had Edward and she could never accept that. Then, the summer before ninth grade, I began to mature. I didn't think I'd changed that dramatically, but I'd had a growth spurt, my chest began filling out and I began to develop curves. Alice had told that I was hot, but I'd blushed and refused to believe her.

That summer, I met Jacob, and for the first time in my life, I began to believe that just maybe, I was beautiful.

Than school reopened and the boys began to notice me. I showed up in school wearing something Alice had instructed me to wear, and the look on Tanya's face had been priceless, but that meant that she redoubled her efforts to annoy me, to get rid of me. To hurt me.

And Edward knew all of that, so seeing him with her today, felt like my soul had been ripped apart. I just felt so, so betrayed and I couldn't take it, and the look of triumph that flashed through her eyes at that moment, just kept replaying in my mind. I gasped as a fresh wave of pain hit me, and the hole in my chest, where moments before, my heart had been, enlarged. I couldn't breathe.

Everywhere I looked, I saw Edward's face. I saw him kissing her back. I saw the way his lips curled up at the corner. Alice and Rosalie chased me to the bathroom and hugged me. Up til that point, I hadn't even realized that I'd been sobbing on the floor. "Why?" I cried, "why?"

Alice looked down onto the floor as Rose sighed, "you know why."

Silently, I nodded. I did.

**A/N: I KNOW. I KNOW. Short chapter. I'm actually disappointed in me, but you know, it's gotta be a cliffie, no? haha. continue reading! it can only get better. (:**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! :D  
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Edward however, is all mine. I swear. REALLY!!! **


	10. Save Me From Me

Chapter Ten

_Alice looked down onto the floor as Rose sighed, "you know why."  
Silently, I nodded. I did._

* * *

"Now hush," Rose chided softly as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "or your mascara's gonna clump."

I hiccuped as I smiled at her attempt to cheer me up, "I'm not wearing any make-up," I choked back.

Alice's mouth turned into a grin as Rose's perfect lips formed a surprised 'o', "Oh. That is just… unfair!" she seethed. "Not only are you a record-signing, hot-shot, teen heart-throb, but on top of that, I find out you have unbelievably thick lashes as well! Damn! And I thought all the Hollywood stories about stars and being 'au natural' was bull!"

At that tirade, I burst out laughing. "Thanks guys," I sighed. Alice grinned back.

"Come on, Bells! Or we're gonna be late!" I nodded and stood up shakily. The pain was numbed but it was far from over, I briefly wondered again why it hurt so bad. It wasn't like I could blame him though, it was my fault that I left.

I stifled a sigh as I walked down the corridor to the Biology lab. I was beginning to see a pattern here.

"Er, Bells? Where are you going?" Alice's voice broke through my musings. I looked up to see her pretty face tilted at an angle, her expression slightly confused and slightly nervous at the same time.

"I have bio lab next."

Her eyes widened for a second, but in the moment I blinked, it was gone. "Oh. I have to go for my next class. See you!" then she hurried down the corridor and disappeared into a throng of students. The same students who were still gaping at me. I sighed out loud, not even bothering to hide my annoyance and just walked into the lab. I handed my slip to the teacher, who introduced himself as Mr. Banner and as I waited for him to find a pen to sign the slip, I threw a casual glance across my shoulder and froze. There he was, sitting at the third row on the left side, perfectly poised, with his chin in his hand, staring out the window.

"Here you are, Ms. Swan," Mr. Banner said, handing me back my slip. I turned around quickly and was about to say thank you when he pointed a finger behind me, "you'll be sitting next to Mr. Cullen for the rest of the year." My eyes widened momentarily as he dismissed me with a wave of his hand.

Just my luck.  
Normally, I would be thrilled to be seated next to Edward, but today, I just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

Edward turned and flashed me a crooked grin as I neared the desk, I flinched; I couldn't help the nasty though that flew through my head at that moment, I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he ever flashed _her_ that smile too. That damned, sexy crooked smile that I'd come to know as _mine_.

Edward didn't miss the way I flinched when he smiled at me, and as I sat down, he leant into my side and breathed, "what's wrong?" with concern flashing across his beautiful, emerald green eyes.

And even though I felt betrayed by him, I still couldn't help the way my heart thudded loudly against my ribcage as his warm breath touched the crevice of my ear. I wanted to face him head on, wanted to demand for him to tell me that he was dating Tanya, or better yet, deny that he wasn't dating her, that she was just a casual fling, but like the coward that I am, I stared unseeingly at an ink-stain on my desk and mumbled, "nothing."

I knew he didn't buy it. I could tell by the way he tensed in his seat next to me, but at that moment, Mr. Banner decided to start the class and so he had no way of continuing the conversation. Yet, even though I knew I was going to have to face the truth eventually, I couldn't help but feel grateful that I wouldn't have to face it now. The hardest part in accepting the truth was knowing that I couldn't do anything about it, because I'd lost the right to be angry after I'd left.

The sane, quiet, logical part of me wondered if this betrayal and aching hurt was what Edward felt when I'd upped and gone away, but the selfish, loud part of me shook her head resolutely, staring down at her feet, stamping and jumping, screaming "NO! NO! NO!" over and over again. The lesson was about the different stages of mitosis, something my private tutor had taught me last year, so it was safe for me to tune out and sort my thoughts out.

My eyes widened as my lips fell apart. The ink-stain that I'd been unthinkingly staring at for the past ten minutes suddenly formed words, crystal clear words and a sappy heart: "E+T 4ever". I grabbed my files and dragged it over the insulting letters and curled my fists around the edge of my chair. If Edward noticed my tenseness, he made no indication, and as the last, painful minute of the lesson ticked by, I jumped up from my chair, gathered my things and immediately headed out the door.

I didn't look back as I walked hurriedly towards the gym. I didn't want to see Edward until I was sure I wouldn't blow up, until I could fully accept that he didn't tell me about Tanya. I didn't want to break our friendship any further, especially now that he had only just began to forgive me. I was so absorbed within my thoughts that I didn't notice I was already in the gym until I tripped over a basketball. As I fell through the air, I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable kiss that I was sure to bestow upon the ground, but the rushing sensation stopped, and it was replaced by strong, warm arms.

I looked up thankfully, but the grateful words I was going to express, was caught in my throat as I stared into the sparkling green eyes of the boy who caught me. My breath hitched.

"Hey." My saviour chuckled as I blushingly stumbled to my feet.

"Thanks for saving me." I squeaked.

"No problem. It was my pleasure," he grinned, eyes still sparkling, as he ran a hand through his dark, spiky hair, " Izzy."

I know it sounds crazy, I mean, I grew up with Renee and Charlie, I wasn't really one who believed in love at first sight, especially not at a tender age of eighteen, but at that moment, my heart starting thumping in overdrive. This was even stronger than when I felt attracted to Mr. Lloyd, because let's face it, which girl in this school isn't? But this was even stronger than anything I'd ever felt before, and the way his lips curled as he said my name, the way it sounded; the rich, velvety tone… his sparkling green eyes, I couldn't help it, I gaped.

**A/N: HEHEHE!! OOOH! :D OK. So i realized that I'm making Bella's heart thud a LOT in this story, but seriously though, she isn't supposed to realize that she likes Edward till later. Anyways, this romance is only gonna last a couple of chapters k? I promise. And Edward's and Tanya's as well.  
And yea, I made Tanya into a bitch in this story, just like cliched, every other one. But well, I couldn't help it. You'll see why later! (: Please continue reviewing!! (:  
I'm trying to make the chapters longer. But then, I'm not sure if I want uber long chapters. Do you guys want uber long chapters?? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Edward Cullen (SOB!) **


	11. She Said

**A/N: ANOTHER CHAPTER UPP!!! ELEVEN!! WHOOHOO! (: I AM HAPPY.  
YET. I am sad at the same time. ): obviously you guys don't love me enough. There have been so many hits but so little actual reviews! ): why? Am I a horrible writer??!!  
**

***BAW* **

**Never mind. It doesn't matter. THANK YOU SO MUCH to all who reviewed! They make my day! (:**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. BUT I DO OWN ROBERT PATTINSON. SRZLY. I SWEAR!! **

Chapter Eleven

"Yo! Izzy?" The green-eyed Hercules in front of me started waving his hands in front of my face worriedly. I realized quite suddenly, to my mortification, that I was gaping at him.

"I'm so sorry!" I blushed. And as I did, I blushed even harder at my blushing. Could I get any dumber?! The first guy, aside from the Cullens and Hales to talk to me like an actual person, and I stand there like an idiot gaping and of all things, blushing! To my intense pleasure, and surprise, he laughed.

"Why are you sorry?" he asked, still chuckling, his head cocked adorably to the side, his emerald orbs, shining.

"Er…" all coherency flew out my mind as I stared at him. "I have… no idea?" he grinned at me and I felt my breath catch.

"I'm Caleb by the way," he stuck his hand out.

"Caleb," I repeated a little breathlessly as I took his hand and shook it. He grinned even wider, then, he pulled my hand up gently and brushed a feather-light kiss across my knuckles.

"It's been a pleasure meeting you, Izzy." Then he dropped my hand and walked away.

"It's Bella!" I called out to his retreating back, and he turned around and flashed me another megawatt smile. I felt my breath catching again, and I caressed my right hand gently, the burning memory of his kiss imprinted in my mind. The funny thing was, on any other guy, it would've been weird, should've been corny and most definitely not romantic. But when Caleb, and when I thought his name, I felt my toes involuntarily curl in pleasure, did it, it felt oddly pleasant, and definitely, definitely, heart-stopping.

"Swan!" A brusque sound cut through my musings, and I glanced up to find Coach Carter towering above me. My eyes widened as he continued, "get into the changing rooms and change!"

"Yes sir!" I squeaked before dashing madly into the crowded the changing rooms. As I walked in, the chatter dropped into a deathly silence as every girl in there froze. I looked around a little wearily and saw Jessica bouncing excitedly up and down on the balls of her feet.

"Bella! Over here!" she called. I grimaced and walked forward to dump my bag on the empty space beside her. As I changed into my gym uniform, she regaled me with gossip about school. The locker room chatter gradually began to start up again, and as I slipped my shirt off and pulled the gym shirt on, Jessica started talking about _him_.

"Isn't he the most dreamy guy in school?!" she asked me, staring dreamily into space. I looked on amused for a second, but curiosity won over, it always did.

"Who?" I asked, pulling my hair into a ponytail.

"Caleb Matthews." She sighed.

My heart stuttered and stopped before restarting again in overdrive. "Caleb Matthews?" I managed to squeak out. "Spiky black hair, green eyes?"

"Yeah." Then her eyes went wide, "Oh my god! You've fallen under his charms too, haven't you?!" she grinned a little smugly.

I blushed a brilliant red. "What?! N-no!" I stammered, "I only just like met him… five minutes ago?"

Her eyes lit up as she dragged me along into the gym. "YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING!" she squealed like a little girl who'd overdosed on candy during Halloween. I groaned internally. I didn't want to share my meeting with _Caleb Matthews_ with Jessica. I wanted to keep it private, special, just between the both of us.

Thankfully, at that exact moment, coach Carter decided to torture us by making us run lay-ups up and down the basketball court, so I wasn't able to answer Jessica's question. Running was one of my favourite activities. It provided the silence that you needed to think, and also the concentration, and I loved the way my muscles burned as I pushed myself on and on. Plus, you lost weight doing it. And the sweat was cleansing.

I know it's weird, but I loved to sweat. Whenever I did strenuous exercises and sweated, I always felt like I'd achieved something. It helped that I loved to run, because in the music industry, if you wanted to be on top, you had to be hot. I already didn't have the whole looks thing working for me, so I might as well have a hot body. I figured that out in my first month after I signed on, and after that, I'd worked hard with a personal trainer to get into shape. Running was therapeutic for me, and running also helped me grow taller and made my legs longer, so I wasn't really complaining.

The other girls at Forks High though, they were definitely not happy with the idea of having to sweat. They complained ceaselessly throughout the entire gym period, calling Coach Carter names and bitching about him to each other as they half-assed their way through the lay-ups. Even some of the guys, to my intense surprise, did the same as the girls. After a few rounds, coach Carter told us to do some suicides.

I figured that the entire lesson would be that, just running, and I was glad. This meant that I had time to just think, maybe write a new song, mostly daydream about one very hot Caleb Matthews.

When the lesson ended, coach Carter seemed surprised that I had been able to keep up with the guys in the lesson, and in fact, did better than a lot of them in terms of stamina. I was sweating and my muscles were burning, but I was happy. As I walked back to the locker room to change, my thoughts were intruded upon by the nasally, whiny voice that belonged to a certain Tanya Denali.

"Who does she think she is?!" her voice whipped through the locker room, echoing and bouncing as her group of vapid followers nodded their heads. I briefly wondered who'd gotten on Tanya's nerves but then decided that I didn't really care, so I headed over to my spot which was hidden from her by a row of lockers.

"So she thinks that just because she's famous now, she can waltz in and just take over this town?!" she continued. I froze momentarily as I realized that she was talking about _me._ My mouth fell open in surprise.

"It's like she _expects_ us to fall down at her feet and worship the ground she walks on!" Tanya spat, I could hear the chorus of her followers agreeing. I gaped quietly as I piled my things into my bag.

"You shouldn't worry about _her_, Tanya," came the soft, cooing voice of Lauren Mallory. It was a voice I'd recognize anywhere. Lauren and Tanya went hand in hand after all. They'd been best friends since second grade, when Tanya had deigned Lauren cool enough to hang out with her.

Lauren and I had been good friends in second grade, when I had a pencil case that she wanted. Then, as soon as Tanya saw that Lauren and I were getting along well, she decided that she wanted Lauren to be her best friend, and Lauren had been overjoyed with Tanya's attention and just went to her. Lauren's voice pierced through my memory as she continued, "you've got Edward Cullen now, _the_ Edward Cullen," I could hear the smirk in her voice, "and she's got nothing."

"Yea," Tanya replied, slightly mollified, "I have Eddie-poo now. And she doesn't. Ha!"

_Eddie-poo_?! I thought, _his name is Edward!_ I shouted internally, then cringed. It was then I realized that my hands were balled into fists and it was rather painful. Deciding I'd heard enough of their conversation, I grabbed my bags and walked out of the locker room without changing. It was the end of school anyways.

"Yo, Bella!" I heard as soon as I stepped out of the locker room, "there's a shower in there for a reason, you know!" my head snapped in the direction of the teasing tone of my best friend, the infamous Edward Cullen. "I can smell your sweat from here!" he continued teasing, "and it's sick!"

I smiled icily as the scene in the cafeteria replayed in my mind again. Edward, Tanya… "Cullen." I stated.

His eyes widened for a second before his teasing face fell and his eyes darkened wearily. "What is wrong with you Bella?!" he growled as he neared me.

"Nothing." I replied shortly, then sidestepped him. "I should probably leave before your _girlfriend_ finds us."

Edward's eyes widened again as realization dawned upon him. "Bella," his mouth opened tersely, "don't be like that."

I looked up at him sadly. "I don't know why you did it Edward, but I have no right to say anything. I get it, I left, maybe you were trying to get back at me, or maybe you genuinely like her," his mouth opened again, but I didn't let him continue, "I really hope you're happy with her Edward, and I hope she's worth it, because you know how much she's been hurting me since… always." Then I walked away from him again.

Before I'd even taken two steps, I felt his hand wrap around my arm. "Will you listen to me?!" he growled.

I turned around.

"You're my best friend Bells," he started, but was interrupted by an angry screech of

"CULLEN!"

Both of us cringed and turned around at the angry voice that boomed from the doorway leading to the football field. There, coach Carter stood, silhouetted against the doorframe. "IT'S FOOTBALL PRACTICE! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"NOW!"

Edward let go of my arm and jogged away reluctantly. I watched him go as I stood there immobile. "I'll call you later!" he yelled across his shoulder as he sprinted towards Coach Carter. I nodded numbly then turned and made my way into the parking lot.

My mind was a crazy blur as it connected the image of Edward and football together. Of course I'd always known that Edward was athletic, the countless number of tags and catch that we'd played throughout our childhood had taught me that, but in freshman year, Edward hadn't been interested in any of that. In fact, it was Emmett who played football and was in the junior varsity team, Edward had preferred piano and music over anything athletic. Then my mind made the startling, obvious connection. Edward, jock table, surrounded by cheerleaders, Tanya, coach Carter… the way everyone in the hallways had seemed to worship him, the way the girls in the corridors had swooned over him… obviously, I was missing something important here, but still, despite knowing that those signs were important, I was still unable to make a huge connection.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I gasped as I looked up from the ground, standing next to a black Harley motorbike, was a six foot four sex god.

**A/N: WHOOHA! :P**


	12. Irony

**A/N: OHMYGOD! ADMIT YOU LOVE ME! hahaha. Chapter 12! YEA! (:  
OK. So I inserted a new character whom BELLA LUUUUURVES. yes, yes, but before you kill me, let me just set this straight. She's not going to end up with Caleb eventually, this just makes a really good story line and I have TONNES of songs that I wanna use sooo (:  
Hehe. **

**ROB P : The author doesn't own Edward, she does however, own me.  
SRZLY. **

Chapter Twelve

"Oh my god, Caleb," I gasped as my mind drank in the mighty fine sight of Caleb Matthews, dressed in faded grey denims and a striped fitted sweater that managed to hint at the well chiselled chest he hid underneath.

"Gasp!" he teased with a crooked grin, "she remembers my name! Ah, thank you God!" I laughed at his dramatic antics. Like I said, if any other guy had said it, it would've been corny, but when he said it, it was almost… endearing.

"So, Bella," he said after I caught my breath, I loved the way my name sounded coming from his lips, "are you doing anything tonight?" his head tilted to the side again, in the same adorable fashion as in the gym, and just like before, I felt myself falling into the hypnotic gaze that belongs to Caleb Matthews.

And just like that, it was almost as though the universe went silent, and the only thing that mattered was my answer to him. As I gazed into his eyes, I caught the gleam of nervousness within them.

"No," I replied a little breathlessly, stunned that a creature as beautiful as he would feel nervous in my presence.

"Then," he coughed a little as he fidgeted by his bike, sticking his hands into his jeans pocket nervously, he dipped his head and looked up at me through his long lashes; the picture of perfect bashfulness. "Would you, erm, wouldyouliketogotodinneriwthme?" he blushed a little as he said it.

My heart thumped painfully loud against my ribcage, only this time, in a good way. I felt like squealing and jumping and flying and everything all at once. But then I thought about what he actually said, "sorry, what?" I asked, a little confused at the garbled, jumbled mess that came out from the angel's mouth.

He coughed a little and blushed a little brighter, "I asked if you'd like to go for dinner with me tonight?" he looked back down on the ground again and I had to control the squeal fighting to burst from my lungs.

"Yes." I squeaked out, "I'd love to." Then I blushed bright red too.

"It's OK if you don't want to!" I replied a little panicked after, "I mean… Wait. Did you say, yes?" a beatific grin broke across his face as my words sunk in. I smiled bashfully back and nodded my head. "Cool!" He grinned. "So… I'll pick you up at 7?"

"Yea, seven's good," I said as I mentally calculated the amount of time I'd have to get ready, around three hours, that was more than enough time. "Here," I said, stretching out my hand, "I'll give you my number and address."

He handed me his blackberry and I handed him my sidekick. Hurriedly, I keyed in my number and my address and handed it back to him. He did the same, just as we traded phones back, our hands brushed against each other, and I felt this warm, tingly feeling go through my hand, we both jumped apart and grinned a little crazily.

"BELLA!" I heard Alice's squeal from behind me, I grimaced involuntarily.

"I guess that's my cue to go," I mumbled to Caleb, he seemed amused by my reaction to Alice's squeal and nodded.

"So I'll… See you later?" he asked, tilting his head to the side again.

"Yes, definitely," I replied a little breathless. He grinned that crooked grin again and I smiled back, "bye Caleb!" I said and then turned to walk towards Alice and Rosalie, leaving behind a rather stunned looking Caleb Matthews.

"What were you doing?!" Alice asked as I neared them, oh god, the Spanish Inquisition has begun!

"Hey Alice, Rosalie," I grinned.

Rosalie looked at me calculatingly for a second before this all-knowing smirk lit up her face. "Oh my god. You look like the cat who just got out of the creamery. What up girl?"

I grinned maniacally for a second before the excitement of being asked out on a date by _Caleb Matthews_ won over and I just squealed. Alice looked shock, I mean, _I _never squealed, never. "Caleb Matthews just asked ME out!"

"OH MY GOD!" the both of them squealed too, and we bounced happily up and down for a few seconds before remembering where we were. Glancing around, we were greeted by the amused, shocked stares of the remaining students, we composed ourselves and giggled giddily.

"We have to help you get ready!" Alice declared in a strangled voice, "Oh my god! You do realize we only have like… three hours to get ready?!" Rosalie gasped in horror.

"Let's get going. Now!" she ordered. Amused, I looked at my friends and jumped into my car, as did Alice, confused, I turned to look at her.

"Edward and Emmett have football practice!" she declared simply. Rosalie was going to follow us in her BMW.

Edward. My heart fell slightly at that. "Edward? Football?" I asked Alice, who was checking out her reflection in the mirror.

"Captain." She replied, still occupied with her reflection as I squealed down the highway home.

"Captain?!" I asked, shocked. When was _Edward_ **football** captain?

"Yeah," Alice shrugged a little nonchalantly, "don't ask me how _that_ happen. We all thought Emmett would get captain, but nope." She said, popping the 'p' at the end. I was still a little shocked when I pulled up into my driveway.

"Wow." I said as I stepped out of the car, behind me, I vaguely registered the sound of Rosalie's door slamming and her heels clacking against the cobbled stones that led up to my house.

"What'd I miss?" She asked immediately.

"Nothing much," Alice yawned, "Bella's just in shock that Edward's football captain," she snickered. Rose giggled too.

"Wow. This is almost exactly the same as Em's reaction! You should've seen it. He was a zombie for like two days. Then he snapped, flipped out and broke half of the furniture in his room. It wasn't pretty."

I shuddered as I imagined Emmett's reaction. I supposed it must've been a huge shock for him, after all, he'd always been in Edward's shadow, sports was really the only thing he had an edge over, and football. That was a big deal for Emmett, only to find that his brother still managed to up him, again. I almost felt indignant for Emmett. Almost, because at that precise moment, Alice and Rosalie started squealing about my date with Caleb again, and all other thoughts flew out the window.

**A/N: YAY! (: YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME, SO PLZ REVIEW! OR I MAY JUST HAVE TO SPORK YOU! OR make Edward die in a tragic accident. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  
Edward (SQUEALING IN THE DISTANCE): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!**

**HEY GUYS!! I new A/N!! :D  
All the pictures of how the characters should look like (aka how I've imagined them to look like) is up on my profile, please go there to check it out! (: **


	13. Kiss Me

**A/N: CHAPTER THIRTEEN! YAY! (: Their first date.  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. ): **

Chapter Thirteen

We squealed for a little while before Alice turned all Hitler on me and ordered me into the shower, declaring that we had a lot of work to do. I had to roll my eyes at such an Alice comment. The funny thing was, the Isabella three years ago would have squealed and ran away to hide behind Edward, it was a kinda running joke back then, but now, things were different.

As I stood under the showerhead, with the warm water gushing down my back, I felt sad, a little empty, a little forlorn. I wish we could go back to those days, before I'd upped and left, before everything had changed. I wish things were just Bella and Edward again, because I couldn't stand the idea of Tanya in the picture. I wanted to go back to the days when everything was beautiful, where we used to dance and laugh and sing in the rain because we could, because Forks rained 99% of the time and we were just making do with what we had cause we were resourceful like that, but that's the problem. Everything was marked in past tense. We were, it was…

My heart ached, and my eyes started to sting a little. Mechanically, I shampooed my head and lathered my body with strawberry scented shampoo and soap. Things had changed, I reasoned, so the only thing I could really do was to move forward, right?

And Caleb… my heart started to thump a little harder as I thought about him. Was I going about it the right way? I hadn't dated much when I was in Hollywood, there had been the occasional coffee with an actor, or another singer, but other than that, nothing. Mostly because the media would blow that one coffee out of proportion, but also because I couldn't get the haunting image of another set of green eyes out of my mind. But Edward had moved on, he had Tanya now, and he was football captain, he had everything. Obviously me moving away hadn't really had that much of an impact on him if his school life was anything like what I'd witnessed today: poster boy for happy. So if Edward was happy, than I should be too, and I should just accept that Tanya is in the picture and just be happy for him like a good best friend and put aside the differences that Tanya and I have and arrive at a truce, and I would be happy with Caleb, right?

Alice pounded on my door, and I jumped from the sudden sound. Banging my arm against the clear glass of the shower, I swore. "OUCH!"

"Bella! Are you alright?" Alice yelled a little worriedly from the other side of the door, maybe she was feeling a little guilty now that I was injured? "Oh, come on Bells! You've been in there ages! We have tonnes to do! MOVE IT!"

Maybe not. I scowled as I stepped out of the warmth of the shower, wrapping my towel around me snugly, I tried to keep as much of the warmth in as possible as I walked into my room. Alice and Rosalie attacked me as soon as I was out the door.

"Finally!" They muttered in unison.

"Geez guys!" I swore, "I was in there for like 10 minutes!"

"That's 10 minutes too long!" Rosalie chided, handing me a bra and panty set. "Now, put these on and we can get to work!"

"Yes, ma'am!" I mock saluted as I slid on the bra and panty, before pulling a terry robe on. The robe trapped the remaining heat from the shower to my body and I relaxed into my chair as Alice and Rosalie fussed over my make up and hair. After an excruciatingly long time, they finally released me from their demon paws and walked me over to my bed, where my clothes for the date were displayed.

"Wow guys, you're allowing me to wear jeans?!" I fake gasped, placing my hand over my heart, "thank you!"

Rosalie and Alice glared, although Rosalie did manage a little, amused smirk before growling, "just put the damn clothes on. It's 10 minutes to 7!" I grinned back, before sliding on the faded grey denim skinny and vintage, maroon t-shirt. The soft material of the t-shirt felt good against my skin, and it was actually one of my favourite t-shirts. Then, I slid on the Victoria's Secret hoodie that said "Make ART not WAR" at the back. The outfit was almost too casual for something that Alice would pick out, and I was actually really surprised, so naturally, I glanced at her all confused. Alice sighed as though I was missing something really obvious, as she handed me my pair of yellow all-stars.

"Caleb Matthews is a guy who's all about the casual. He doesn't like high maintenance girls," she drawled, almost bored. "Besides, although your outfit screams casual, it has an understated message of 'I've put in some effort, but I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard'."

"Oh." I said, not quite knowing what else to say. Rosalie smiled at me as she held out a perfume, it was Princess, by Vera Wang, and she spritzed two spritzes into the air and I walked through the fragranced mist, allowing it to settle on me.

"You know, Bells," Rosalie started casually as she recapped the perfume bottle, "I'm really jealous of the huge amount of perfumes you have here," she gestured her arm in a sweeping motion across my table, at the huge amount of perfume bottles there. I laughed at her attempt to be subtle at telling me that she wanted some, but subtlety, I was quickly learning, wasn't Rosalie's strong point.

"I have tonnes more in my closet, Rose, they send it to me for free, hoping I'll endorse them. If you want, you're more than welcome to them. Alice, you too!" I grinned.

"OH MY GOD! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" Both of them squealed, jumping up and down before running to my closet and taking out the huge box that said 'parfum'. I looked on amused, until the doorbell rang. Suddenly, my stomach started flipping and flopping and my heart started beating crazily.

All three of us froze for a moment before jumping up and down excitedly. I was so nervous. I walked hurriedly down the stairs, glad that my clumsiness hadn't decided to attack me at the moment, and I took a deep breath and opened the door.

It was useless anyways.

My breath was taken away as soon as I saw him. He was wearing a pair of faded grey denims too, and he had on a dark coloured t-shirt with a black hoodie.

"Hey," he smiled, his hands in his jean pockets again, the picture of perfect bashfulness. I felt my heart thudding into overdrive just then, as a blush overcame my cheeks.

"Hey," I mumbled back, smiling a little shyly. "Do you wanna come in? I just gotta write a note to my dad and I'll be ready to go."

Oh. My. God. I just invited Caleb Matthews into my house. With my two best girlfriends upstairs. Listening to our conversation. I was mentally freaking out.

"Oh, yea, sure," Caleb replied, flashing me another crooked grin. My breath caught again, and I had to remind myself to breathe. In, out. In, out. Steady, steady, be still my heart.

I walked into the kitchen and scribbled a note quickly, before pasting it on the fridge. I wasn't sure if Charlie would mind since it was a school night and all, but then again, since I was already 18, he couldn't really put a curfew over my head now, could he? I scribbled the note all the same, stating that I was out on a date with Caleb Matthews about town and would be back before 10 since it was a school night. This didn't leave me a lot of time with him, but I reasoned that that was OK. It would be enough to keep both of us interested, if we had the chemistry, but it wouldn't be long enough to be boring if we didn't.

Then I braced myself as I turned around to get out of the house for our date. I found Caleb looking at the pictures that were sitting on the table by the window. They were the embarrassing ones from my childhood, and one was especially mortifying, I couldn't believe I'd forgotten to keep them! I walked towards him, my face red as anything, and he was staring intently at the picture of Edward and I, we were probably eight or nine, maybe eight, since both of our front teeth were missing. We had our arms wrapped around each other as we sat naked in a plastic pool. Esme had snapped that picture and we'd posed for it, before Emmett and Alice had jumped in, naked as well, and attacked us with rubber duckies and floats.

"That is so embarrassing!" I groaned, burying my face within my hands. He turned around to face me quickly, chuckling some.

"Not exactly first date material," he grinned, his green eyes sparkling, "well. At least I get to say I've seen you naked," he snickered.

"Oh shut up!" I laughed back. He just flashed another crooked grin at me. "Well, I'm ready to go."

"Alright," he said, holding his hand out for me to hold. I took it and we walked out into the cold of the night. It felt strangely nice to be holding hands with Caleb Matthews, like there wasn't any expectations of me or anything. I drank in the sight of his handsome profile again, his angular, chiselled jaw, his spiky black hair, his long lashes and his gorgeous, gorgeous green eyes. Then I started laughing hysterically for some reason as he opened the door to his car, a black, 1999 Mustang Vert.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked, a little puzzled, and he did that amazingly breathtaking thing again, where he tilted his head to the side and looked up at me through his eyelashes.

"It's just… we kinda match." I laughed, and he did too as soon as he realized what I was talking about. Our jeans were the exact same colour of faded denim and we were both wearing hoodies and t-shirts with converse all-stars on. He grinned another breathtaking smile at me as I stepped into his car.

"Wow, a mustang." I mused, as he slid into the driver's seat.

"Yea," he grinned, half mumbling, "I know it's not the latest model or anything, but I like it. It's a 1995 Mustang Vert!"

I was totally distracted by the way his eyes lit up as he talked about his car, "wow. It's practically vintage then," I teased, enjoying the way his eyes lit up again as he laughed. "So, where are we going?"

"Someplace I like to eat at." He smirked as he turned into the highway to get to town. I rolled my eyes but it didn't stop my heart from thumping loudly, and the sight of Caleb with his eyes all focused on the road was making it suddenly difficult to breathe.

"Where at?" I asked, a little breathlessly, and he glanced over at me once again, with that beautiful, breathtaking crooked smile.

"You'll see," he whispered, focusing back on the road again. I groaned.

"Noo. I hate surprises!" I whined, turning the full power of my puppy dog eyes on him, I pouted a little, "Please?"

Caleb looked a little dazzled as he stared at my pleading face, he had to clear his throat and shake his head a few times, before he playfully, angrily growled, "Bella! I'm trying to drive here, I want to get to dinner in one piece, so do you mind?"

"Oh come on Caleb, just tell me where we're going. Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

It went on like that for the rest of the ride, which took a whole of fifteen minutes, and then we were pulled out outside some sort of diner and Caleb hurried over to my side of the door and opened it for me.

Holding my hand, he led me into the diner, "Welcome to Forks Diner!" He declared a little proudly, I had to look down to hide the grin that was attempting to spread across my face as I drank in the sight of his smirk. "They have the best hamburgers in the world you know!" he confided in a theatrical stage whisper.

I laughed. "Wow. An original diner from the 50s, it's all so retro!"

Caleb grinned as he led me to a booth in the back of the diner, it wasn't long before Mary, the waitress, ambled over to serve us. In a town as small as Forks, everybody knows everybody, and who wouldn't know the police chief's runaway daughter?

"Bella? Is that you?" Old Mary asked me, I grinned up at her a little uncertainly. As a child, dad always brought me over to the diner for steak and fries every Friday night, as a treat for being so good and quiet all the time.

"Hey, Mary! Long time no see!"

"Oh my goodness! It's been so long." She grinned back at me, " and with Caleb Matthews too." She said, beaming as she turned to look at us. I blushed furiously as I sneaked a peek at Caleb, who was looking amused at my reaction. Maturely, I stuck my tongue out at him. And he stuck his back out at me. We both grinned insanely.

Mary looked at our exchange in amusement, and a little twinkle in her eye. I didn't really like the twinkle, but I didn't exactly complain. "What will it be tonight, dears?" she asked in a motherly voice.

"I'll have the chips and hamburger," I said, and Caleb asked for the steak and fries. As Mary walked away with our orders, Caleb and I just sat across from each other and stared at each other.

The silence was oddly comforting, there wasn't really much to say, and his eyes, god, they were so hypnotic. I felt like I could drown in them forever. They felt like lifelines.

"So," Caleb started, biting his bottom lip a little nervously, it took all my willpower to pull my gaze away from his lips and to focus fully on what he was saying, "tell me about the story of Izzy Swan," he grinned, a full blown megawatt smile lighting up his face. I was struck again by how handsome he looked, and how he seemed to smile a lot.

"There's nothing much to tell really, I just… left and became famous." I cringed internally as I said that statement, I didn't want Caleb to think badly of me, which was surprising cause I usually didn't really care about what people thought about me. "What about you? What's the story of Caleb Matthews?" I asked, trying to change the topic to something else and at the same time, really wanting to get to know him.

"Nothing much, I moved here a couple of years ago, my grandparents decided that they wanted to live out a peaceful retirement, and what better way than to reside in a small, rainy town?" he laughed a little. I was surprised at how totally un-bitter he was about it, and it made my insides feel all warm and fuzzy at the expression he got on his face when he talked about his grandparents: soft eyes and just pure love.

While most other guys would be complaining about their parents and grandparents and trying to be all macho and cool, Caleb didn't do any of those things, and that made it all the more amazing to be around him, and I realized quite suddenly that Caleb Matthews was really quite perfect at the moment, with his amazing looks and his caring personality not to mention, there was this strangely comforting feeling whenever I was with him. Like I felt… safe. Anchored. And it was nice.

"You live with your grandparents?" I asked, a little curious.

"Yea. My parents died a few years ago." He said, looking down at the table top sadly, my face turned red again.

"I'm so sorry." I muttered, facing down. I heard him chuckle and I glanced up as he placed a hand over mine.

"Why are you apologizing to me, Bella?" He asked, cocking his head to the side again.

"I don't really know…" I said, relishing the feel of his hand above mine, the warmth that flowed between us. I turned my palm up and intertwined our fingers together. Caleb seemed really happy when I did that, because his face lighted up and he just smiled. Not like a really big one, but a nice one that just screamed happiness, pure bliss, joy.

And I know it sounds really corny, but it isn't, cause nothing with Caleb is corny, or cliched.

"They died in a plane crash," he whispered after a few moments of silence. I gasped, but didn't talk, letting him continue. "The private jet they were in crashed over the Atlantic." My eyes widened as the words sank in, _private jet_, _plane crash_, _Atlantic_, I suddenly remembered a news report on it, "multi-millionaire Blair Matthews and wife, Lola Matthews die in tragic plane crash".

"You're their son?" I gasped, trying to fit my head around the idea that Caleb was the heir to a multi-national corporation, and a millionaire as well. "Blair and Lola Matthews?"

"Yea," he said, pulling his hand back a little, his eyes darkened as he began to place defences around himself, he looked slightly guarded now, and I immediately regret saying what I did. I reached my hand out to hold his again and I whispered 'sorry'.

Just then, our food arrived, so I took my hand back and we dug into the food. "I don't care if you're the heir to some multi-million corporation Caleb," I started after a few minutes of awkward silence. "I didn't mean it that way when I said, 'you're their son?' it's just… it was a little shocking," I admitted, "but… I like you Caleb, you. Not who you're meant to be, but you as a person," suddenly I gasped again and I blushed red as I realized the words that had slipped out of my mouth.

I felt incredibly stupid, how could I have just admitted to liking him on our first date?! Caleb glanced up at me shocked, surprised, and then he grinned, this super gigantic megawatt smile that made me grin too, and he held my hand as he gazed into my eyes. And it made my hyper heart go into overdrive, thudding crazily again as he smiled at me. "I really, really like you too, Bella, not just as a singer, but as a person. You're really nice and you make me smile."

I grinned at that. It was nice, being with someone who wanted to be with you because they genuinely thought you were a nice person. The rest of the dinner passed by in a blur of jokes, grins and secret, smug smiles. All too soon, we were standing by my front door and bidding each other goodnight.

"Thanks Caleb, I had a really wonderful time." I whispered, blushing slightly on the front steps, I was glad that it was dark and that the only light was streaming from the streetlamps and the window.

"I'm really glad you agreed to come on a date with me, Bella," Caleb whispered back, moving closer to me. My heart began to speed up again, and I wondered vaguely if his was speeding up to. Our breaths began to meld into each other as we leaned closer and closer together.

His smell was intoxicating; it smelt like cinnamon and pine and this aftershave, or maybe it was cologne that drove me crazy. It was like that Armani scent that was just so darn male. And he smelt really, really nice and I was becoming light-headed, and then, our lips connected, and there was this tingly feeling, fireworks exploding and my toes curled in pleasure.

His mouth slanted against mine and his tongue pressed against my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I opened my mouth and pressed my tongue against his, tasting him, and that wonderful taste of M&Ms filled my mouth. I sighed happily into our kiss as his arms wrapped around my waist, after a while, the need for air overwhelmed us and we broke apart panting. Beneath the dark, Forks night, Caleb drew in a shaky breath, grinned at me with this idiotic, happy grin, and stole my heart with a single, cliched line, "be my girl?"

"Yes!" I grinned, wildly ecstatic, happy, glad and every other adjective for happiness. I was well aware that I was probably grinning like an idiot too, but that was all right with me. I was fine with being an idiot in love, and I knew that what I felt with Caleb was something that I wouldn't ever feel with anyone else, ever again. Caleb was smiling so widely, he looked like Christmas had come early. We stood there, wrapped in each other for a few more minutes before the cold, snippy air forced us to break apart.

"I should probably go now," he began, pulling away from me a little, but still holding on to my waist, "I should let you get inside before you catch a cold."

Aw. Wasn't he just the sweetest thing in the world? I could literally feel my face heat up as the sweetness of his actions touched my soul; I felt something within me crumble as my legs turned gelloid. "I'll see you in school tomorrow?" I asked softly, staring up into his beautiful green eyes.

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away," he beamed, then he ducked his head down for a chaste kiss and he walked towards his car. I waved to him as he settled into the front seat and walked into the house, where Charlie was inside watching a game on TV.

"Hey dad, I'm home!" I sang as I walked into the living room. He didn't turn around, instead, he kept his eyes glued on the game, I guessed it was a pretty good one if he didn't even glance up to welcome me home like he usually does. I couldn't stop the affectionate grin that spread across my face as I looked at my childish father. He was almost like a teenage boy.

Deciding that the news that I was dating Caleb Matthews, or the fact that I was dating, really, could wait till when a less exciting game was on, I walked over and gave my father a kiss on the head before declaring it a night and walking upstairs to take off my make up, wash up and change into a pair of comfy sweats and t-shirt before sleeping.

I grabbed my sidekick off the bedside table where I'd left it earlier tonight and flipped it only to see the screen light up and register 124 missed calls and 60 text messages. All from Edward, well, mostly. One was from Alice and the other was from Rose, but other than that, they were all from Edward. I glanced through the text from Alice, which was short and to the point, "call me when you get home. I want to know EVERYTHING." And then the one from Rose which said, "do anything I wouldn't? ;)" and I laughed, then I began the painstaking task of reading Edward's messages, all 58 of them.

The first one was a ramble, "why aren't you picking up your phone? I need to talk to you! Call me ASAP!" then after a while, it was, "is something wrong? Pick up!", followed by a "where are you?! ANSWER ME!" the messages grew desperately shorter and more worried until the last one, which was, "call me. Now." I sighed, looking at the time of the message, which was 10 minutes ago, and pressed the 'call' button.

The phone rang, after two rings, Edward answered, his voice surprisingly breathless, like he'd been worried or something.

"Hey, you called?" I asked, rolling my eyes at the rhetorical and ironic question. Edward growled into my ear.

"What the hell?!" he yelled.

"What?!" I asked back, trying not to yell so as not to disturb Charlie.

"Don't 'what?' me! Where have you been? Do you know how worried I was?!" Edward was really angry, like, really, really angry, and I was a little scared.

"Sorry. I was out on a date and I didn't bring my phone," I squeaked, afraid to be sarcastic or anything. Edward could be really scary when he wanted to be and since it was me in the line of fire at the moment, I was trying to build up a wall around me as a fort so that just maybe I could dodge the bullets.

"You were out on a date?" he asked, disbelief colouring his voice.

"Yea." I shrugged, then realized he couldn't see me shrugging and felt a little stupid, until his next comment caught me totally off guard.

"Don't ever do that again Isabella, do you know how worried I was?" I was shocked by the raw emotion that came through the speaker, the raw pain and the desperate relief. Suddenly, I gasped as I understood which angle Edward was coming from. He thought that I'd upped and left again.

"I'm sorry." I squeaked, feeling a little ashamed, and the euphoria of my magical date with Caleb died down.

"Nah. I was probably overreacting," Edward stated matter-of-factly, "so," and I could hear the grin in his voice now, "how was your date? Who did you go with?"

I grinned back slowly, even though he couldn't see me, and I asked him to call Alice in and to put it on loudspeaker so that I could go into a detailed explanation of the date and not need to repeat it all over again. Edward groaned, but he did it anyways, and soon, half an hour later, I said, "He asked me to be his girlfriend," Alice squealed into my ear, I grimaced and held it away from me until she was done, a goofy grin still on my face, "and I said yes!" I gushed.

Alice squealed again, and I could hear her bouncing up and down, until a few seconds later, when she suddenly asked, "what's wrong with you Edward?! Why aren't you happy dancing?!"

I had to laugh at the image of Edward happy dancing, but his brusque answer made me catch my breath. "Get lost Alice," he growled, and Alice growled back, but she said she'd talk to me in school later, then she left, and Edward came back on.

"You agreed to be his girlfriend?!" he growled again. I was shocked. I wasn't really used to Edward growling, obviously. It was all a little surreal for me.

"Yes?" I replied, a little guarded, a little afraid.

"Bella, you barely even know him!" He yelled, exasperated. I felt really indignant. While it was true that Caleb and I had only just met, wasn't dating him going to help us to know each other better? Besides, wasn't feeling the way I did around him more than enough? And I could read the look in his eyes, he understood me.

"Edward," I replied a little coldly, "I'm not ragging you about Tanya, so I'd appreciate if you don't rag me about Caleb. Besides, I like him, he likes me, isn't that enough? And I do know him. I feel like I know so much about him and he makes me really happy Eds," I grinned softly into the dark as I thought about his green eyes and his spiked hair and the way my hand felt against his. "Really, really happy."

I heard Edward sigh over the phone. "Whatever you say, Bells, just don't come crying to me cause I will be the one saying 'I told you so'."

I laughed. "Don't be a pompous ass Eds, give the guy a chance."

"No promises," he growled. "I hope you know what you're getting into Bells, dating the captain of the basketball team…"

My breath caught. Caleb was captain of the basketball team?

"Is that why you don't like him, Eds?" I asked softly, Edward sighed again.

"Maybe," he replied grudgingly. I grinned, then yawned. Edward heard me and I could hear him laughing lightly, which was nice, laughing Edward was always better than grumpy Edward.

"Goodnight, sleepyhead," he whispered and I grinned again as I felt the tug of unconsciousness claiming me.

"G'night Eds," I mumbled sleepily and I thought I vaguely heard 'love you' before the darkness drowned everything out.

**A/N: YAY! FINALLY! (: A LONG CHAPTER! haha. do you guys think that maybe the r/s between Caleb and Bella may be going too fast?? Please Review!! Oh, btw, the pics of the characters are up on my profile, as are the links to the outfits that Bella and Caleb wore on their first date! (:**


	14. Shopping for Labels

**A/N: FOURTEEN! (:  
haha. OK guys, so I have on my profile the links to what the characters look like, and I'll place up the links to what the Cullens are wearing, as well as what Bella is wearing k? :D**

**Disclaimer: DARN! I don't own Edward. ): **

Chapter Fourteen

There was a snickering coming from somewhere, it was really annoying. It was this supremely repetitive "hehehe" sound that just kept echoing and echoing and echoing. I tossed a little, and my head banged against something hard, something really hard. "OW!" I yelled and tumbled out of bed. The snickering blew up into rambunctious laughter. I scrambled around the floor in a puddle of blankets and located the annoying laughing sound. It was my phone.

I'd probably fallen asleep whilst talking to Edward last night, which meant that he was laughing at something I said! I felt my face heat up as I glared at the phone, before picking it up and mumbling, "WHAT!" OK, so more like growled. Edward was still laughing.

"Oh (haha) my (hahaha) god (hahahahahahaha) 'DON'T KILL THE HAMSTERS!!'" he squealed in a falsetto voice, I felt my face heat up even more. It was unfortunate really, but I talked in my sleep, like… a LOT. Whenever we used to have sleepovers, half the night, the Cullens would spend attempting to stay awake to hear what nonsense I would spout out during my dreams, which was really embarrassing.

"Shut up Edward," I mumbled angrily into the phone, "I'm going to hang up now you crazy, psycho, phone stalker!"

"WHAT?!" He spluttered indignantly, still chortling, "How am I a crazy, psycho, whatever stalker?!"

"Well, let's see," I grinned as I got out of bed, "you stayed up all night on the phone whilst I was sleeping, and you were listening to me sleep, er, yea, I think STALKER covers it!"

"Hey! In my defence, I fell asleep on the phone too!"

"Yea right. BYE STALKER!" I yelled and hung the phone up before stumbling into the bathroom to get ready for school. School, I found myself grinning at that thought, meant Caleb. And Caleb made me grin like crazy.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I dragged a brush through my hair and decided to pull it into a messy bun, with wisps of my hair framing my face. Then, feeling decidedly, uncharacteristically, feminine today, I used a little make-up, a little eye-liner and mascara and some clear lippy before heading over to my closet, where I dug a pair of black skinnies out. I paired it with a pair of UGG boots and a random t-shirt with a crazy owl in front of it. Since it felt a little chilly, I slipped on a blue cardigan and tied a green and white striped scarf around my neck, before grabbing my overcoat and bag and dashing down the stairs.

Charlie was gone already, as usual, so I grabbed a granola bar and an apple, before heading out into the rain. The weather today was abysmal, it was frighteningly cold and there was also fog, which was creepy. Fog scares me. I'm always scared that I may bang into someone I can't see, or ride over dead bodies without knowing, in fog. I know it sounds crazy and weird but whatever.

I drove extra carefully today, and arrived with five minutes to spare. As usual, the guys were all standing under the archway to the main building, I braced myself for the inevitable cold and jumped out of my warm, toasty car before running towards the school building, in a desperate attempt to keep the cold at a bare minimum, but to no avail.

My cheeks were probably bitten pink from the cold, and as I neared the guys, my breath was coming out in little puffs of smoke, which was kind of disturbing since it was only September. Forks, I decided, was almost entirely screwed up now, I was sure, because of global warming. It never used to be so cold back then.

"Hey guys!" I smiled, blowing a puff of smoke towards them, Alice squealed and spun around in a circle, blowing the wind about. The Cullen triplets looked scarily alike today, no doubt a result of Alice's over-hyperactive-ness last night. "Where's Jasper and Rosalie?" I asked, noticing that the Hale twins weren't around.

"Oh, they're walking up here now!" Emmett said, grinning brilliantly at something behind me, turning around, I saw Jazz and Rose coming up, they were walking regally and gracefully, almost sashaying down the asphalt path, no doubt a very different scene from the cartoonish picture I must've cut dashing up the same path.

"Why are you all matching?" Rosalie asked Emmett as soon as she neared us. All three Cullens were wearing plaid jackets with jeans, except Alice had paired hers with a pair of boots, whereas Emmett had on a pair of Nike shoes and Edward had on a pair of well-worn Converse. I stared at those Converses for a little while, noting the ink smudge on the left side, and the faded highlighter marks on the other, knowing that they spelt Bellward BFF. I'd been born one summer and started doodling over his then, clean all-stars. I was surprised that they still fit him after three years.

"Alice." Came the dull, bored reply from both the Cullen males, the rest of us laughed, it was something we were all used to. "Soooo Bella," Rosalie started, giving me an all-knowing smirk, I blushed a little under her gaze, then jumped as an armed snaked around my waist.

"Gahh!" I yelled, jumping around to face the adorably amused smirk of one very hot green eyed god.

"Hey babe," he whispered into my face, I breathed in deeply, his scent, that irresistible, cinnamon, Armani mix and just grinned goofily up at him. He leaned in for a kiss, and I complied, I mean, how could I not? Just like yesterday, our lips tingled as they connected and this warm bubbly feeling erupted within me. I sighed into the kiss again, as his lips parted, and I slid my tongue into his mouth. The warm taste of M&Ms and the sweetness of apples greeted me and I pressed myself closer into him, pulling my body flush against his.

From behind me, someone cleared their throat. Suddenly, I remembered that there was an audience behind and very reluctantly, pulled away from him. Blushing, I turned around to face a very amused Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett and one very irate Edward.

"Come on Bella," Edward started coldly, my eyes widened at the menace in his voice, "we should get to class. The bell's about to ring," then, glaring at Caleb, he greeted, "Matthews."

I felt Caleb tense behind me as his grip on my waist tightened a little. "Cullen," Caleb nodded, "I'll walk Bella to class if it's all the same to you, she is _my_ girlfriend after all." I didn't miss the way the 'my' was emphasized in the sentence, and although it made me feel wanted, I couldn't help but feel slightly irritated at being branded. Emmett and Jasper were both gaping as he said that, and I realized that they didn't know. Alice had probably filled Rose in last night, so her reaction was one of bored interest, Alice on the other hand, was bouncing up and down on her toes as her eyes flicked back and fourth between Edward and Caleb. I was sure that if she'd had popcorn she'd be munching on it too. Trying to cool the situation down, I grabbed Caleb's hand and marched into the building.

"Thanks for reminding me Eds!" I called behind me, turning to smile at him, only to catch his disapproving glare, which caused me to flinch. What the hell was wrong with him? Didn't he promise me he would try last night?

"Caleb!" I growled lightly, "What the hell was that about?" I asked, feeling more than irritated, and turning to look at him, which wasn't exactly the best idea cause my breath caught the moment I locked eyes with him. His green eyes always left me breathless and he looked so small, so hurt, almost as I rounded on him.

His hand slipped into his jean pocket again, a dark, denim today, as he did that super adorable thing where he looked up through his eyelashes, "what?! ME?!" he spluttered a little angrily. "Bella, I didn't do anything, merely reminded him that you are my girlfriend, not his."

I gaped a little at his words. "Why would he need reminding? He knows you're my boyfriend." I didn't really get it, but I had a feeling I'd missed something monumental again. I seemed to be getting those feelings a lot lately, like there was something super obvious sticking out at me, I just didn't really know what it was. Caleb sighed as he looked away.

"It doesn't matter, OK?" He said as he turned to look at me, another dazzling smile in place, "all that matters is us."

His words turned me into mush, even though they were terribly cliched and overused. But like I said, nothing with Caleb ever feels unreal, everything was just so… fairy-tale like, so wonderful, amazing, perfect. I smiled up at him.

"Yea, I'll see you at lunch, k?" I asked, leaning up to kiss him, he bent down and brushed his lips softly against mine, before mumbling "yea, lunch," against my lips and then he pulled away.

I walked down the hallway to English class as he walked towards Spanish. Before entering the classroom, I glanced once down the hallway at his retreating back, and almost as though he could sense me watching him, he turned around, flashed me a heart-stopping crooked grin and winked and he disappeared around the corner. My felt like it was bursting from the huge mass of emotions that threatened to engulf me. I buried my face within my hands as soon as I settled into my chair at the back of class.

"Is anything wrong Bella?" Angela asked me, sounding concerned, looking up, I smiled widely, feeling completely and totally blessed out.

"Nope, nothing's wrong. Everything's just perfect!" I grinned. Angela grinned back half-amused, still half worried. She probably thought I was high or on crack or something, so I continued by whispering, "I'm dating Caleb Matthews!" and I burst out giggling after that.

"Oh my gosh!" Angela squealed back softly, bouncing a little in her seat, her face lighted up with genuine happiness for me, "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks!" I grinned back, still with that stupid, goofy smile and she squeezed my hand.

"Ladies!" Came Mr. Lloyd's voice from the front, we both snapped to attention, and blushed as the eyes of our classmates focused on us. I saw Jessica's deep frown, and recognize the look she had in her eyes, it said 'I know something is up. Tell me EVERYTHING', and I sighed quietly as I thought of the Spanish inquisition I would no doubt have to answer to in trigonometry. But even so, not even the thought of Jessica interrogating me could burst the happy bubble that I was enclosed in. A very happy bubble that revolved around one very hot, extremely sexy, Caleb Matthews.

I'm not sure what Mr. Lloyd talked about. He could've been speaking in Gaelic for all I cared and knew about, all my thoughts were centred around Caleb's eyes, Caleb's hair, Caleb's clothes, his voice, his arms, that feeling I got when he wrapped his arms around me, that incredible safe, heart-thumping feeling, and his voice. God, his voice, that smooth, velvety tone that just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Angela poked me in the side and I jumped up. "Ow. What?" I snapped, which I immediately felt bad for because all she did was point toward the front, where Mr. Lloyd stood, with his hands on both hips, glaring at me. The image would've been comical had I not been afraid of getting into trouble.

"Ms. Swan?" He asked, his eyebrows raised, he was clearly not amused.

"Erm. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention?" I squeaked, feeling rather foolish and very, very embarrassed at having been caught thinking about my boyfriend. _Boyfriend_, that thought made me feel all mushy and gushy again, until I remembered that I was in trouble with Mr. Lloyd.

"Obviously," he said from the front, "but the question was do you think Sylvia Plath is best remembered for her works or for her life?"

He continued staring me down and I sweated a little under my scarf, Sylvia Plath. Sylvia Plath, that was easy.

"I think Sylvia Plath is best remembered for her life, sir."

"Oh really?" That damn eyebrow rose again. "Why is that?" he asked, his tone patronizing and condescending. I was a little freaked out.

"Well sir, Sylvia Plath's works are mostly influenced by her life, and some of her best works are about her heartbreak and her father, as well as her cheating husband, Ted Hughes. Most people remember all of that, that her husband left her for a woman named Assia, and that she gassed herself but saved her children."

"But," Mr Lloyd interrupted, "couldn't you also say that a lot of people remember her poetry as well?"

"Yes sir, but see, her works are so influenced by her life, that we often see more of her life than anything else."

"What makes her a brilliant poet then?" he asked, as though he were genuinely baffled. I almost smirked; the question was too easy.

"Because her works are still relevant till today, sir." Mr. Lloyd looked genuinely impressed, giving me a tiny twitch of his lips, which I took as a smile; he turned back to the front and continued reading Lady Lazarus.

The rest of the lesson passed in a blur of Caleb, and then it was time for the inquisition to begin. Jessica strode alongside me down the corridor, even in heels; she only came up to about my shoulder, although her huge, frizzy red hair probably made up a quarter of her height.

"SO!" Jessica began, her eyes shining with a sheen of malice, I very nearly turned and ran away, but my trigonometry date kept me walking along with her. "What's going on? She asked a little snootily, before I could even open my mouth, she continued with, "and don't bother saying nothing because I know something is up!"

I groaned, figuring I might as well deal with it right now, thankfully though, Mr. Beadle surprised us all with a pop quiz, which was met with an enormous groan.

"But sir!" Tyler Crowley called from the far end of the classroom, "It's only the second day of school man!"

"Which means that you've had the entire summer holiday to study your trigonometry, I'm sure," Mr. Beadle stated evilly from the front, this weird, manic grin in this eyes as he passed out the quiz papers.

"Do it. Do it well. And _no talking_," he emphasized, "that means _you_, Stanley!" he pointed at Jessica. I had to duck my head to hide the little grin that was threatening to show on my face, especially when I glanced up and caught Jessica's outraged expression. It was almost as though the gods were helping me out today.

The quiz was thankfully easy, something that I'd again covered with my private tutor. I'm starting to wonder if I'm super advanced or something, or maybe the Forks curriculum was just slow?

The end of the lesson rolled about and I hurried out of the classroom before Jessica could catch up to me. Thankfully, that was the last class I had with her until gym, last period. I spent the rest of the two period before lunch in a daze, probably with a goofy grin stuck permanently on my face, just daydreaming about Caleb.

As the lunch bell rang, I jumped to my feet and was almost to the door when Caleb poked his head in. The moment was too perfect, framed by the light streaming in from the hallway, he looked as though he was glowing; perfectly deliciously angelic. I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face, and I noticed the way his eyes lighted up the moment he saw me too. My heart melted and stopped and started beating in overdrive all at the same time as he pulled me into his arms.

"I missed you," he whispered into my ear, I shivered against him and he pulled away from me looking concerned. "Are you cold?"

"No," I shook my head, wrapping my arm around his waist and he bent down and kissed the top of my head, "I missed you too."

As we neared the door of the cafeteria, Caleb chuckled lightly, I looked up at him, wondering what he was so amused about. "It's just, all the guys are jealous that I'm with someone so perfect, they keep glaring daggers at me."

I blushed as he referred to me as 'perfect', then glanced around curiously, I'd been so wrapped up in the Caleb-Bella bubble that I hadn't noticed the other people in the hallway. I didn't see the guys glaring daggers at him, but I did see the girls glaring at me, which was rather amusing because they looked torn, as though they couldn't decide whether to fall at my feet and worship me for being Izzy Swan, or stab me with their pencils for being with Caleb Matthews. I couldn't help it, I laughed too.

There was a sudden hush as we walked into the cafeteria, almost everyone glanced up and stared in wonder and amazement, everyone that is, except Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and of course Edward and Tanya, who were both glaring at us. Looking at Tanya, I smirked and wriggled my fingers at her in a wave.

The look of outraged disbelief was almost too much, and I smiled widely, grinning as she exploded at Lauren. The rest of the cheerleaders were gaping at us as were the rest of the football jocks. I didn't really understand what Edward was annoyed about, but as I neared a their decidedly foreign table, I realized that I didn't care.

"Er, Caleb?" I questioned we pulled nearly flushed with their table, "why are we sitting here?"

"I always sit here," He said, tilting his head, looking puzzled. I looked around at the gaping faces of guys whom I didn't recognize, and the cheerleaders, who up close, I could see, really wore too much make up, and the angry glares of Tanya and Edward and I gulped.

"Like, oh my god," came the nasally whine of Lauren's voice, "what is _she_ doing here, Caleb?"

I felt my blood bubbling as she draped her hand around Caleb's shoulder, to my immense satisfaction, he shook her hand off and turned to glare at Lauren.

"Bella is sitting here because she's my girlfriend." He stated simply, Lauren's eyes opened so wide, I thought they were going to pop out. Tanya looked strangled and I couldn't resist the jibe that bubbled up my throat.

"Like, oh my god, Tanya," I started, using Lauren's phrase, "blue is like, such a great colour on you!" the table burst into laughter, and Edward looked choked, trying to glare and yet laugh at the same time. I grinned as both Lauren and Tanya spluttered then turned around to face Caleb.

"If it's all the same to you, I'm gonna sit with my friends," I said, leaning in to peck him on the cheek, he pouted than grabbed my hand as well as his tray and turned to me.

"I'll sit wherever you sit," he smiled softly, and I felt my heart stop again. Such perfection shouldn't exist! Guys like Caleb Matthews belonged on the front pages of Vogue, dressed in tailored Armani suits, not in the jock, brain-dead infested world of high school. All I could do was silently nod as I made my way through the still deadly silent cafeteria and settled down next to Alice.

Emmett and Jasper both looked up a little wearily as we sat down, they were both a bit guarded, and eyeing Caleb in a way that could only make him gulp, so I did what every good girlfriend would do, I tossed him to the sharks and turned to talk to Rosalie and Alice.

They were both squealing in delight along with me and ogling my totally hot boyfriend, whilst Emmett and Jasper stared him down.

"What are they doing?" I whispered to the girls, both of them looked at me and rolled their eyes and Alice replied in a very 'duh' voice.

"They're giving him 'the stare'," she said, in a mock macho voice, "trying to eye him down to see whether he'll be good for you!"

Rosalie giggled, "yea, Emmett had to endure it from Jasper when we started going out and vice versa." I laughed as the image of Jasper, who was slightly lankier than Emmett, who was all brawn and Greek-god like, staring down at Emmett popped into my mind.

"After the stare," Alice continued, "they'll give him 'the talk'."

"Yeap. The 'if you hurt her, I will hunt you all the way to Nantucket and rip your insides out and barbecue them before feeding them to wild dogs." Rosalie said nonchalantly as she thumbed through the latest edition of Girlfriend.

"Nantucket?" I questioned, an involuntary grin spreading across my face. "Is that even a state in this WORLD?"

"No clue." Both of them replied, bored with the conversation already, until Alice flipped to another page and saw a really cute peep-toe, purple Steve Madden stiletto.

"WOW! LOOK AT THAT! I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!" she squealed as Rosalie vehemently agreed. I chuckled quietly to myself before crunching into my apple, feeling slightly sorry for Carlisle's credit card.

After a while, rambunctious laughter burst from the guys' side of the table, and we glanced up. I caught Caleb's amused stare, and he winked at me. I felt my face heat up again as my head swirled, Alice and Rosalie both giggled at me and went "ooooh", to which I blushed harder and just giggled along with them.

"So, is he a good kisser?" Rosalie asked, matter of factly after a while. I had a feeling she'd been dying to ask that since yesterday night, because she had this gleam in her eyes. Blushing, and cursing the fact that I blushed so easily, I grinned and bowed my head down.

"The best," I gushed and they squealed along with me. Then the guys scooted their chairs closer to us and Caleb placed an arm around the back of my chair.

"What's up baby?" Emmett asked Rose as he did the same thing. Rose rolled her eyes as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Nothing, just girl stuff, you know? Aunt Flo and tampons," we all laughed as Emmett turned bright red and scooted as far away from Rose as possible. "I was kidding you big nitwit!" she chided affectionately, placing a kiss on his handsome face. Emmett grinned as though he'd just won the lottery and I couldn't help but feel at peace with the world.

I was back home, with my best friends surrounding me, with an amazingly perfect boyfriend, and everything was perfect. Except, if everything was so perfect, than why did my thoughts keep wondering back to a pair of green eyes that were burning holes in the back of my head?

I glanced over my shoulder and my eyes connected with his smouldering green eyes and for a second, my breath hitched, before Caleb stole my attention again.

A/N: REVIEW! (:


	15. Come In With The Rain

**A/N: FIFTEEN! (:**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, bla bla bla, Stephenie Meyer does, blah blah blah.**

Chapter Fifteen

"Hey babe," Caleb was waiting for me at the side of the gym door, I bounced over to him and planted a kiss on his perfectly luscious lips, grinning as my breath hitched and my heart started thudding in overdrive again.

"Hey yourself sexy," I smirked as he flushed and grinned beautifully. "What's wrong?" I asked as he looked down in a slightly disappointed manner, with his hands in his pocket and his right leg kicking the floor slightly. He glanced up at me through his eyelashes, and once again, my heart started thudding in overdrive.

"It's just… I wanted to send this really pretty girl home today, only, I've got basketball practice, which epic sucks." He pouted, I couldn't help but grin and tease him at the same time.

"I'm sure this pretty girl will understand, your girlfriend on the other hand," I grinned, "might not." He laughed and pulled me closer to him.

"God, I feel so lucky. I can't believe that you're really my girlfriend," he mumbled into my ear, I swear my heart stopped as his warm breath tickled my neck. I felt incredibly warm at the moment.

"Yea, I'm wondering what you did to get me," I gasped out, still teasing him, but it was incredibly hard to keep a straight mind with him so close to me, and with his intoxicating scent. I pressed my body against his and pulled his head down, where his lips devoured mine hungrily.

The kiss felt amazing, like fire, burning through me. We were melting, welding against each other, fitting, moulding, burning, it was too much, yet, too little all at the same time. I felt my back hit hard against the wall and as I gasped, his tongue snaked in and there were sparks. My head was pounding circles and my eyes were seeing stars and all I could feel was him; his arms, his hair, his lips… I tangled my fingers in his beautiful, soft hair as I moaned into his mouth, seconds later, he groaned, and we both broke apart simultaneously, panting.

Caleb's cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen, his hair, a jumbled mess, and even though his clothes were rumpled, he still managed to look like a sex god, I probably looked a little more worse to wear. He groaned, and then smiled tentatively at me. I could see the lust shining in his eyes, and was more than aware that mine were probably mirroring his.

"I should probably get going," I whispered, still breathless. He nodded vehemently.

"Yea, you should go now, while you still can," he said, his face already inching closer to mine, when his lips found my neck and he nipped me softly, "I'm afraid if you stay any longer, I can't let you go," he whispered. My mind went blank as my body responded to his ministrations by pulling him tighter against me, my hands fisted his t-shirt, and my head lolled to the side automatically to give him more access.

His tongue drew a fiery trail of circles around my jugular vein before his lips peppered hot kisses all the way across my collar bone, I wondered vaguely where my scarf had went, but all thoughts flew out the window as he licked me. I gasped.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket, I groaned. "Caleb," he didn't stop, only shifted to let me grab my phone out, still trailing kisses along my neck and collarbone, panting slightly, I pressed the receive button and held it against my ear.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Edward's angry voice blared through the speaker, I tried to concentrate on replying him, but Caleb had moved his ministrations to my ear, and he was now nibbling softly on the lobe.

"Ungh…"

"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I heard Edward shout, then Emmett's booming laughter in the background and then Alice going "ooh! Gimme gimme gimme!" with great effort, I pushed Caleb off me and glared at him, he smirked at me than tried to kiss me again, I turned my head away and mumbled angrily into the phone.

"I'm coming!" then I hung up, before turning to Caleb, intending to berate him, only to find him smirking at me, with his eyes glinting in amusement.

"You're coming, huh?" he grinned cheekily. I blushed red as the full implications of my words sunk in.

"You know I didn't mean it like that pervert!" I mock glared as I punched his biceps lightly.

"Ouch!" he said, grabbing his arm and looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. "That hurt!" he whined. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics and just played along.

"Aww. Come here and I'll kiss your booboo all better," I said, leaning in to peck his biceps, which were hard as rock!

"My lips hurt too!" He pouted, I laughed and then pecked his lips before pulling myself away from him. Turning around, I grinned at him and blew him a kiss before yelling, "have fun at practice!" then I half skipped, and half ran towards the parking lot.

"You know I won't!" Caleb yelled from behind me, "I'll be thinking of you too much!"

Hearing him say it out loud made me go 'awww' inside. When I reached the front of the school entrance and slipped out into the parking lot, I realized that almost all the students were already gone, the lot was nearly empty except for the hunched figures of Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Edward, who was pacing up and down a little angrily. I gulped before walking forward slowly, trying to prolong that inevitable moment where he would blow up at me for just a little longer, but no such luck.

The moment Edward saw me walking out of the school building, he stormed up towards me, his green eyes ablaze with anger and worry.

"WHY THE HELL IS YOUR SHIRT CRUMPLED?!" he yelled. I heard emmett's booming laughter but I didn't dare to look around Edward to see, instead, I looked at the ground and prayed that he would just shut up so that we could continue home. Edward didn't shut up, well, eventually, he did, but he yelled at me for another five minutes or so. I wasn't really listening, I'd tuned him out, but I was still flinching from his loudness.

Finally, he stopped speaking and he was panting slightly, his chest heaving up and done. I noticed the way his cheeks were all flushed pink and for some reason, the sight of his windblown hair made my heart flutter, which was just weird. I decided that it was because he looked altogether, almost too much like Caleb, and I let it go and instead, asked, "are you done?' in a quiet voice.

Edward looked at me, nodded and then dragged me towards our cars. The rest of the gang were lounging around within the warm confines, having gotten bored with Edward's angry tirade moments before.

"Come on, you're coming over tonight. Esme insists and Charlie's already agreed." Edward said, as he opened my car door for me. I didn't miss that it was the passenger side, and stood by the car, with my hands on my hips, glaring at him.

"You can get into the passenger seat, Cullen," I growled, "It's my car. I'm driving!"

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, something he only did whenever he was annoyed and glanced up at the sky for a second before he looked back and me and said, "humour me." Grudgingly, I slid into the passenger seat and we settled into an almost painful silence as he sped out of the school and up the highway towards the obscure opening to where the Cullens mansion was, near the edge of the forest.

After three minutes of painful silence, I finally couldn't take anymore, and just burst out, asking what'd been on my mind for almost the entirety of the day. "What the hell is wrong with you Edward?"

"What?" He yelled, looking surprised. "What's wrong with _me_?" his expression turned into one of outraged disbelief.

"Yes! What's wrong with you?" I asked again, feeling puzzled and very, very annoyed.

"Bella! What's wrong with _you_?" he shot back, his eyes a little wild. "You're dating a guy you barely even know! God!"

"Well, you don't know him all that well either Edward!"

"I know him better than you do!"

"Oh yea? So tell me, what's wrong with him then!"

"He's just… Not right for you!"

I spluttered at Edward's logic, before slamming my hand against the dashboard in front of me. Edward winced at the sound, glancing at my very red hand, but I ignored the pain that was now throbbing. "Bullshit, Edward! Bullshit!"

He pulled to a stop outside the white mansion, and he hung his head down a little tiredly. "Come on, let's go get your hand checked out inside, it's Carlisle's off day." I blinked at him and hung my head down tiredly too.

"What's wrong with us, Eds?" I asked, a tiredness descending upon my soul. I suddenly felt really, really old. "We used to be so close, such great friends, and I know I moved away, but I really thought we could get over that."

Edward looked at me with pained eyes, his expression was that of a burning man. "We just grew up wrong, Bells."

I felt hot tears prickling my eyes, they were threatening to spill over anytime now, and I realized that Edward's eyes were sparkling with tears too. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice cracking, the dam broke. He pulled me close to him, as close as he could in the car and sobbed with me. Outside the car, the sky rumbled and the rain tumbled down. First a drop, then another, and suddenly, a whole storm; after a while, we both calmed down and sat there, staring at the gushing sheet of water pounding against the glass window.

"I wish we could go back to the way things were," I started after a while. Edward looked over at me and smiled back sadly, leaning his head back against the back of the seat.

"Me too," he whispered softly, "every damn day, Bells, I wish for that every, damn day."

"Why did you date Tanya?" I finally asked. He glanced over at me.

"I don't know. I guess it was cause I was just really hurt at first, and everything reminded me of you, and I was just trying to get away from it all, and after a while, I just got so angry, and because you hurt me so much, I just figured, if I dated someone who'd hurt you before, it might just… level things out a little bit. It sounds stupid when I say it like that," Edward said in a tiny voice, glancing away.

I took a deep breath, and let it out in a whoosh. "Wow."

He looked over at me and whispered, "yea," shaking his head slightly, "it's all pretty sad and screwed up isn't it?"

"Do you like her?" I asked, my heart aching a little. Half of me wanted to know if he really liked her, the other half didn't want to know anything involving Tanya at all.

"Do you like Caleb?" Edward asked me back. I took a deep breath.

"Yea," I smiled, involuntarily, just like I always did whenever I thought about Caleb, " I really, really like him."

Edward looked away again. Silence filled the car for a few more minutes until finally, he asked in a raspy voice, "he makes you happy?" I thought about it for a while.

Caleb made my heart thud, he made my earth shake, my soul move. He made me smile and he made me laugh and he stole my breath away with everything that he did. I adored the way he looked up at me through his lashes, the way he fitted his hand into his jean pockets all the time, the way his arms fit around me, and the way he never made me cry.

"I think… I love him."

Edward let out a huge gush of air. "You… love… him?" he choked.

Smiling softly, I glanced out the window, and replied, "yea, I think I do."

"We should get going." Edward said after a while, I glanced up at him. His expression was guarded, his eyes seemed slightly dulled, a little pained, almost. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he'd already gotten out of the car and was splashing his way through the rain and towards shelter. Sighing, I pulled the hoodie of my overcoat up and opened the door to brave the pouring storm.

Once inside, Esme attacked me with towels, demanding that I take off my sodden boots and to march myself upstairs to Alice's room to change into something dry. Since an angry Esme wasn't an Esme that I wanted to deal with, I just agreed silently and tore up the stairs the moment I discarded my boots. Rosalie and Alice were already inside, lounging in their dry clothes. They gaped at me, amused, as I entered the room.

"You look like a dead fish!" Rose declared haughtily, sniggering slightly at my predicament. I just flashed her a grin and growled a shut up before turning to Alice, who was already bouncing up and down in full Bella Barbie mode.

"OH YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!" she giggled, squealing incessantly before throwing me unceremoniously into her gigantic bathroom to take a hot shower. "And hurry up Bells!" she yelled as she pulled the door shut. I shook my head sadly even though she couldn't see and just stripped myself of all the wet clothes. Stepping into the shower, I set the water temperature to just slightly below burning and stood in there for a while, letting the warmth seep into my bones before lathering Alice's vanilla scented shampoo into my hair.

Life was far too complicated; there were too many derivatives, too many mistakes that could be made. Wasn't it Murphy's Law that stated, whatever could go wrong, will? Life confused me. Love confused me. Edward confused me.

Caleb was safe. He was a certainty, a controlled variable. But the funny thing was that, it should be Edward who was the controlled variable, and Caleb who was the dependant one. My heart still felt empty though, even though I'd already admitted to Edward that I loved Caleb. It was love, wasn't it?

The way his kisses made my heart stop? The way his touch sent me into frenzy? The way he always felt so good and so warm? Wasn't it enough?

But a little nagging voice at the back of my head just kept whispering, "there has to be more. There has to be more." Yet… what more could there be? Wasn't love supposed to be the most amazing feeling in the world? And didn't Caleb provide me with that feeling? I sighed into the shower, my throat was burning, my eyes were burning, I blinked. Then I stepped out of the shower and walked out into Alice's room, wrapped in a fluffy pink towel, where hairbrushes and curlers and a billion beauty products attacked me. After a while, they declared me done, and I was given a bag of Victoria's Secret undergarments to wear.

I raised arched an eyebrow up as I turned to look at Alice, who giggled. "Well, I never knew when you'd be sleeping over and need it unexpectedly." I grinned. Same old Alice.

"Thanks," I whispered, and rushed into the bathroom to slip into the clothes she provided me. On the couch that she had inside her bathroom, was a pair of track pants and a grey camisole, alongside a white hoodie. I slipped on the least provocative pair of underwear; black laced boy shorts, and slipped on the rest of the outfit, before daring a glance into the mirror.

The face of Izzy Swan stared out at me, full pouting lips, brushed into pink perfection with glittery lip gloss, brown eyes framed by luscious lashes, and a hint of bronze across the cheeks, with a waterfall of blonde hair cascading down in curls. I sighed. Why was it that now that I had everything, fame, fortune and love, I still wanted more? I cringed.

Maybe I'm just being too greedy.

Pasting on a practiced grin, I flounced out of the bathroom and settled onto Alice's bed. "You're staying over tonight!" Alice commanded without even glancing up from Cosmo. I looked up at Rose who rolled her eyes at me and then glanced back down at her nails.

"Sure, sure." I replied Alice, without even bothering to ask Charlie cause if I knew anything about Alice, it was that she'd already gotten clearance from him. It was all a bit disconcerting really, how everything in my life just kept floundering about, and I suddenly realized that I didn't have control over anything at all.

And I felt helpless.

**A/N: REVIEW! :P**


	16. Don't Let Me Go

**A/N: CHAPTER SIXTEEN!!! (:  
OK guys, I must confess, that this chapter, I speeded things up a little, and chapter 17 is the one that I really hate writing, but I gotta write it unfortunately. ):  
CALEB is a sweetheart, I'm sure everyone agrees with that, but I'm afraid that Chapter 17 doesn't bode well for him. ):**

**OH! But on a brighter note, I just wanted to thank ALL OF YOU GUYZ for making my day. 51 reviews man!! WHOOHOO! (: THANK YOU! Plz keep reviewing!! (:**

**Disclaimer: I OWN CALEB! HAHAHA! :P but i don't own any others. ): DAMN.**

Chapter Sixteen

Dinner was an awkward affair. I sat cushioned beside Alice, opposite Edward, who was, for some odd reason, ignoring me. Rosalie and Jasper had gone home for dinner. Alice was chattering about the new winter collection that was going to come out soon and begging Carlisle to get tickets for the fashion show in New York. Emmett wanted a new stereo for his jeep. Only Edward and I remained quiet throughout the whole dinner.

The tension was so thick, you could probably cut through it and serve it for dessert. After an agonizing hour, we were finally done, and I stood up to help Esme clear the dishes.

"No. Nonsense, dear," Esme chided me as I tried to help. "Don't be ridiculous," she grinned, "it's the boys' turn to do the dishes tonight, isn't it boys?"

"Yes mum." Both Emmett and Edward groaned whilst Alice sniggered. I turned to Esme and smiled.

"Than thank you for a wonderful dinner, Esme."

She smiled fondly at me than reached out to hug me. I felt hot tears pool behind my lids at the loving gesture. As the boys and Carlisle cleared out of the room, Esme patted me on the back and cooed, "tell me what's wrong, Bells."

And I cried. Alice looked on, alarmed.

I spilt my soul to Esme. The emptiness that felt like it was building up within me. The pain, the confusion over everything, over Edward's behaviour, over my feelings towards Caleb. At the end of it all, both Esme and Alice had knowing glints in their eyes.

Esme smiled softly at me as she hugged me once more, "it's OK to feel this way, Bella, you're still so young. Love is hard at this age, life is hard at this age. You've just been under too much pressure, you have to stop giving yourself so much expectations, understood?"

I nodded silently, I wasn't really quite sure how to react. She continued, "don't think so much about everything, just live each day, day by day. Everything will work out beautifully in the end." She smiled at me again as she stroked my hair. I sighed. Her words had a calming effect one me, and even Alice was strangely serious and silent.

"Thank you," I whispered, wiping the tears from my face.

"Nonsense," Esme chided, "you can come to me with anything, dear. You should know that by now. You're like my daughter."

Alice nodded from her side and chimed, "yea, Bells, you're family."

I felt so safe and so loved and so warm, It felt incredibly nice to be a part of such a huge family, secretly, I'll always been jealous of them, but now, I knew that I was a part of them, and I felt like I belonged. Esme smiled at me than bid us goodnight and left the room.

I sat there with Alice for a while, both of us strangely contemplatative.

"Oh Bella!" she started, "why did you tell me you felt this way? I thought we were best friends…" she looked hurt. I stared at her startled.

"Alice!" I panicked, "I didn't mean to not tell you, it's just… I wanted to try and deal with this all alone. You know, I felt like a nutcase feeling all these emotions. It was crazy, how I'd veer from high to low. I just… didn't know how to say it all out." I trailed off, looking down.

Alice smiled balefully at me. "C'mon! We need to have a movie marathon!" I giggled at her suggestion.

"It's a school night, Al!" I laughed. She smiled wickedly at me.

"So?" she asked, arching one perfectly shaped eyebrow up.

"So! Charlie will pop a vein, that's what!" I said in mock outrage. She giggled at me and waved her hand dismissively.

"All settled." She grinned proudly. I just sat there and gaped for a little while. Sometimes, I swear, Alice can see the future!

We spent the entire night crying over chick flicks and laughing at horror films. Emmett had tried to crash our party only to be dragged upstairs by the ears by Esme. There had been absolutely no sign of Edward at all, and it was weird.

I guess we must've fallen asleep sometime around four in the morning because I awoke to sunlight on my face. I yawned and looked around the trashed living room, there were popcorn kernels and empty chip bags littered across the floor, I cringed internally at the mess, hoping that Esme had yet to walk in to see the mess on her beautiful, usually spotless, living room floor.

Alice was snoring lightly with her legs draped across the arm of the sofa and her head buried in a dozen silk pillows, laughing slightly at her mussed up hair, I gently poked her awake.

"AHHH! NOO! EDWARD THAT'S MY BURRITO!" she screamed as she tumbled to the floor. I started giggling than burst out into full blown laughter.

"NOOOOO! THAT'S MY BURRITOOOO!" I sniggered as Alice glared up at me from amongst her prison of silk pillows, she tried to stand up but slipped on a packet of crisps and fell on her butt. Again. I snickered.

"You could help you know!" she glared, trying to look stern with pieces of feather stuck in her flyaway her. I snickered and stuck out a hand to help her. "What time is it anyway?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes as soon as she was safely up on the couch. I shrugged and reached over to the side table for my sidekick.

Glancing at the time, I got a rude shock. "Oh my gosh! It's nearly time for school to end!" I giggled, Alice looked at me weirdly than giggled too. Our little giggling fest soon turned into full-blown laughter, which caused Esme to come running in to see what all the fuss was about. It was funny cause the situation was so unfunny, but it was almost as though we'd downed a whole gallon full of laughing gas. We were just so tickled, it was impossible to stop.

I felt tears pooling in my eyes as I clutched my sides, trying to get rid of the pained feeling that comes whenever you laugh too much, Alice had long since given up trying to control her laughter and was lying spread eagle on the ground pounding her hand desperately against the marble floor. Esme looked at us and shook her head, smiling fondly and then walked away, probably back to the kitchen.

Finally, five minutes later, out laughter finally died and we sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa, gasping for air. "Ahh… I needed that." I grinned, wiping the tears away from my eyes. Still giggling, Alice agreed. "Come on," I declared, standing up, "we should get this all cleaned up. Poor Esme."

"Uh huh. It was fun though, wasn't it?" Alice grinned, standing up and beginning to clear up the cushions from the floor, "especially when Emmett decided to crash out party!" we fell into another round of giggling as the expression on Emmett's face flashed into our minds.

We finished clearing up just as the guys and Rosalie walked into the foyer. "How could you _not_ invite me to your sleepover?" Rosalie asked the moment she spotted us on the couch, "I feel so hurt!" she pouted, with a hand across her chest, faking heartache. We both giggled than grinned at her a little sheepishly.

"It was impromptu?" Alice offered, "how was school?" she asked as Jasper bounded over to her. As he leaned down for a kiss, she pushed him away. Jasper looked shocked. "Morning breath darling," she said, her voice muffled as she placed a hand across her mouth.

The rest of us laughed at her antic. Jasper just grinned, "aw, c'mon baby, you know you always smell great no matter what."

AWWW! Rosalie and I exchanged glances with each other as Emmett guffawed.

"Man! You whipped!" he sniggered, which caused Rosalie to smack him hard across the head.

"What is wrong with you Emmett Cullen?!" she screamed, "why must you always destroy the most romantic moments?" Emmett looked down onto the floor and followed Rosalie as she stomped into the living room in a huff.

"Aw, c'mon baby, you know I was just teasing…"

"Don't c'mon baby me you lout!"

"Lout?" Emmett looked confused for a moment, "what's a lout?" the rest of us sniggered as Rosalie sighed in exasperation. Looking up, my eyes locked with Edward's for a second before he turned away abruptly.

I felt cold and hurt and utterly bewildered. When our eyes had locked, his had been glinting in amusement, until seconds later, when they'd suddenly shuttered and turned cold, and then he stomped away. I stood rooted at the spot for a minute before deciding that enough was enough.

He couldn't keep doing this, changing his feelings and his mind so fast. It was giving me a whiplash and I was tired of trying to keep up with something that I didn't understand. With my mind made up, I stalked forward fully intending to go upstairs to his room and confront him about it.

I didn't bother knocking as I entered his room. The familiarity of the high wall of CDs and the glass wall on the other side stunned me. I suddenly realized that it'd been ages since I entered his room, ages since I last hung out here. Pictures of us, recording our childhood still dotted the clear glass, and the messages that I'd drawn in white-board ink still dotted the glass. I blinked in surprise.

But on top of the goofy grins that we'd had on from Halloween pictures three years ago, there was one of Edward in a tuxedo with his arms wrapped around Tanya, they had crowns on and I quickly realized that this was from last year's prom; where they'd been crowned king and queen.

For some odd reason, my heart clenched as in drank in their perfection. They looked altogether too good together, almost as though they were made for each other. I let out a sigh I hadn't realized I was holding and felt confused, all over again.

The movie night had helped me forget just for that little while, but now, faced with all these overwhelming, unknown emotions again, I felt so tired, and so alone. My best friend was nowhere to be found, and in more than just the physical sense.

"What happened to the happy kids who used to go trick or treating together?" I whispered as I fingered the Halloween picture underneath the photo of him and Tanya.

"They grew up." Came up the gruff reply from behind me, I jumped.

"Edward!" I stuttered, my heart thudding in my ears. "I'm sorry, I should've knocked first…" I started stammering, looking away, suddenly feeling very embarrassed and awkward.

There was a moment of silence and I sneaked a glance at him. He was looking away too, with his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked so worn and so tired and just as alone as I felt.

"Ed," I started, unsure of how to continue. He stared at me expectantly, still with that distant cold look in his eyes. It was super unnerving and it took almost every single nerve in my body to not flinch. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me!" I yelled in exasperation, feeling tears pool at the back of my lids again. Was it really too late to resurrect our friendship? Wasn't I trying? Suddenly, I snapped. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I was really, really tired. If Edward wasn't going to try, than neither was I.

I think he must've noticed the way I suddenly froze as I made my decision, because a pained look came over Edward's face. For a second, he almost looked like he wanted to say something, anything to try and erase that split moment's decision, but then, instead, a resigned look came over his face and all he did was nod and step aside as I walked out of his room.

Alice didn't say anything as I grabbed my bag from her room, and neither did Rose. They both had this sympathetic look on their face, which really irked me, and Emmett looked like he was dying to scream something out. I didn't stop to talk to them, instead, I headed over to the kitchen and kissed Esme on the cheek, saying goodbye. She nodded at me and she too had this knowing look on her face, she too looked as though she wanted to say something, but she just let me go.

I raced away in my car, back to my home, away from the Cullens and the Hales and most of all, away from Edward.

When I arrived home, the house was empty, Charlie had stuck another note on the refrigerator, saying that he hoped I had fun and not to wait up for him tonight. I crumpled the note and stormed upstairs, where I collapsed on my bed, crying, gasping big breaths of air.

It hurt. Everything hurt. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to cry, it hurt to live. And it didn't matter how much breaths I'd sucked in because there wasn't enough oxygen. I don't know when I picked up the phone to call Caleb, all I know was that he was at my place in a flash, and he was holding me in his arms, rubbing circles in my back, telling me that things would be OK, that everything would be fine, and just for that moment, I chose to believe him.

When Charlie came home around midnight, he found me on the floor surrounded by music sheets. After Caleb had left, I'd been hit by the sudden urge to write a song, everything about Caleb, about Edward, about my life in Forks, which was supposed to get better, easier… only… it isn't. It's only gotten more dramatic; the ironic part was that, I was now, so far from Hollywood.

Charlie didn't say much, only paused by my door, leaned against the frame, looked at me for a while, when I glanced up, I thought I saw a tear glistening on his face, but I can't be sure, because he turned, muttered a goodnight and went to bed. I didn't really get anything at all. I thought I knew what was going on, I thought that I was old enough to handle everything, and that life would get easier. I don't know why I came to Forks.

I was hoping that maybe some remnants of my childhood would still be here. I think I was holding on to the memories of what I had with the Cullens too much, or maybe it was just the memories that I'd shared with Edward. I used to fancy myself in love with him, I used to think that just maybe, we would grow up and fall in love and have the happily-ever-after that I'd always dreamed about. I think secretly, Esme, Carlisle and Charlie all expected that of us too. It's always been Edward and Bella. Only now, it was Edward and Tanya, Caleb and Bella.

We weren't equal anymore, we were like a whole, only now, we've become fractions, a decimal, with a .5 at the back. But life isn't like math. When you make an error, you can go back, redo the sum, and if you add the .5's together, you'd always get a whole. But in life, you don't get any do-overs, one little actions sends a ripple through the universe, like the butterfly effect, and everything is affected, changed. You can't go back, and I'm finally beginning to understand, even if just a little bit, that no matter how much I try, it's never going to alright, not the way I imagine it to be.

Once upon a time, a little girl played house in the middle of the woods with her best friend, and he was her husband, her little, bronze-haired angel. Ten years later, the little girl ran away and lived her dream of being a pop star. Three years after she'd achieved fame, fortune and success, she moved back home, only to find the house in the woods, in ruins.

"I can see your shadow lying in the moonlight,  
I can hear your heartbeat playing on my right side,  
Every night I long for this, making up for what I missed,  
I can hear you breathing, letting out a sad sigh

You tried so hard to hide your scars,  
Always on your guard

Don't, don't let me go  
Don't make me hold on when you're not  
Don't, don't turn away  
What can I say so you won't,  
Don't, don't let me go.

I'm coming down, to where you're standing  
I need you now, or you'll be watching  
Me hit the ground, oh, I'm crashing in…

Don't let me go, don't let me go."

**Disclaimer: BUT I STILL OWN CALEB! :P and the song is Don't Let Me Go by The Click Five  
**

**PLZ REVIEW! (:**


	17. Chasing Pavements

**A/N: CHAPTER SEVENTEEEEEEEEEN  
WHOO! I'm afraid that the story is going to be ending soon!! ): Like another couple more chapters. 20 is my aim to end the story. SOBBLE SOBBLE!  
I think maybe I'm speeding things up a little too quickly? Comment if you do think so!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the songs. They're by Taylor Swift. **

Chapter Seventeen

Three months passed by in a blur. In a relatively normal routine, I still spent my days over at the Cullens, Esme still fussed over me, and Alice still had tonnes of fun playing Bella Barbie, only this time round, Caleb had been included in the equation. Esme took an immediate liking to him, much to the disgust of Edward, who'd slowly disappeared altogether. Whenever we were over at the Cullens, he was never to be seen, so much so that I no longer felt welcomed there, because of the guilt that came from me thinking that I'd kicked him out of his own home.

Edward had become an almost touchy subject with Alice. In a rare fit of understanding, she didn't bug me for the details of our falling out, neither did Emmett. He no longer cracked 'Edward has a stick up his bum' jokes, in fact, none of them gave any indication that they even hung out with Edward anymore.

When we passed each other in the hallways, he'd resolutely look to the other side, and I'll do the same. When Tanya first saw what was going on between us, she'd looked like Christmas had come early, and she'd gotten the pink corvette she wanted. It was almost sick the way they were always all over each other. They brought PDA to a whole new level.

It still felt like a huge part of my life was missing without Edward, but it wasn't for lack of trying on my part. I guess… maybe the both of us were just afraid of each other now. Life still went on. Time still ticked on. People still lived.

The roots of my hair had started to grow out, and Alice had helped me dye it black – a project she'd had tonnes of fun doing. The expression on Edward's face when he saw me the day after was almost painful to see. He looked shocked, pained, and he almost looked like he was going to open his mouth and talk to me, only Tanya had interrupted our little 'moment', and like always, he'd looked away.

Emmett had taken to teaching me how play tag football, and it'd become a new tradition for the six of us to play it weekly. The group had really taken a liking to Caleb, which was amazing, since it was us three girls now, and them three guys. In school, the hierarchy system had flipped out of balance, much to the chagrin of Lauren and Tanya. All the basketball jocks had taken to sitting at our lunch table, and since half of them dated half the cheerleaders on the squad, they'd taken over our table to. To my immense surprise, I found out that most of them were halfway decent, and we'd managed to forge friendships. Since it was the only thing Tanya had no control over, she was still being a total bitch to me, but I realized that I really, didn't care.

The odd thing was that I didn't really care about a lot of things. The things that mattered and the things that didn't were classified into different time lines, the ones from pre-Edward-estrangement times and the ones after. I felt a little guilty sometimes, it felt like I was giving only half of me to Caleb, but he didn't really seem to mind all that much.

He still made my heart soar and my body tingle, and I still smiled involuntarily whenever I thought about him. Life was great. On top of that, my new album was coming along amazingly, and everything was on track. The release date was set for summer, which meant that I had a couple more months to finish everything. Almost all the songs on the album were about Edward, or what I felt back in Forks; all about my memories here in this small little town, and of course, Jacob's song.

Life was going on, and I was moving along blindly, there wasn't really much that I could do.

"OK! That's it!" Alice screamed, slamming her fist down on the table, causing all of the occupants to jump up and stare at her fearfully. Since it was such a very Alice thing to do, I just looked up at her expectantly.

"We," she started, "meaning you, you, you, you, you, and me," she pointed at Emmett, Rosalie, Jazz, Caleb, me and then to herself, "are all going to have a picnic on Sunday. The famous Cullen family Sunday picnics that we've not had in AGES!" she grinned.

I gaped at her. Cullen family picnic meant that the entire Cullen family would be there, along with Charlie, and now Caleb. And that meant that… Edward, and I cringed as I thought about it, was going to be there too.

I had a feeling that Alice was up to something cause she had this odd, manic gleam in her eyes, but I was too afraid to say anything to her, or question her motives. I think almost everyone at the table was afraid of her. But she wasn't done though, after letting the message sink in, she continued, "_You_," and here she emphasized it on the you, giving me the scary eye, "WILL go, and you WILL enjoy it."

Looking up at her, I nodded glumly, which was honestly the safest thing to do when Alice was in one of her moods. Caleb placed his arm protectively around me, and my heart thudded a little faster again. I smiled up at him, and he peered at me through his lashes, grinning. "Picnics? I love them! Bring on the roasted beef!" he chuckled, to which Emmett roared a resounded "YEA!" and high-fived him.

"Boys," Rose rolled her eyes at Alice and I, and we both giggled.

Since it was a Friday, it meant that I had to go to the studio in Port Angeles, so there was a chauffeur picking me up after school. Caleb walked me to the black car parked in the lot and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, which still managed to send my heart into a frenzy, and whispered "I'll see you later," into my ear. I flashed him a grin and waved goodbye to the gang before stepping into the car.

After three months, it still never got old. During the ride to Port Angeles, I managed to write another song, another Edward inspired song, and by the time we reached the studio, I was ready to discuss what the guitar solo would sound like with Chace, who was my new guitarist.

"Hey guys!" I greeted, my practiced smile pasted on my face as I rumpled the carefully dishevelled blonde hair that belonged to Chace. He pouted up at me as the rest of the guys laughed and mumbled hey back.

"Izzy!" Chloe cooed, pulling me into a hug.

"Can't breathe, Chloe!" I choked out, she released me.

"So? Is there any new material?" She asked without beating around the bush. I rolled my eyes but grinned at her.

"Yea, I've got two new songs. I'm not exactly happy with them though…" I didn't get a chance to continue with what they sounded like or why I wasn't happy with them because she immediately cut in.

"Well, do you have anything about unrequited love, because the big boys up there had a listen to the songs on the CD, and they said it was all too… emo." She sneered. I flushed, but mentally searched through my notebook to see if it contained any songs abut unrequited love. I practically snorted. My notebook had tonnes of unrequited love songs, especially concerning… I didn't allow myself to finish that sentence, let alone think the name.

"Yea, I've got some," I replied in a subdued voice. I don't think she even noticed, but Chace was giving me this weird look.

"Awesome!" Chloe cooed again, "Let's hear it!"

I sighed, but pulled out my notebook, flipping through the pages, trying to find one that was halfway decent. There was one that I wrote before I left, when I was really angry at Edward, but it was from pretty long ago. I had just found out that he was dating Victoria Davenport, a beautiful red-head that he'd met on vacation in Florida. He'd claimed that she was just a summer fling, but I was still last to know, and it had hurt a lot.

"It's called Only Me When I'm With You," I said, looking up at them, as we walked into the recording booth, "but it's not exactly about unrequited love, and it's pretty old, so it might not be good or anything." I smiled half-heartedly. Chloe gave a fake laugh and just patted me on the back.

"Oh, it'll be good honey." She grinned, flashing her pearly whites. For some reason, the image was just plain menacing. I stifled a shudder, opened my mouth and sang into the microphone, we always recorded me singing the songs first, and then fine-tuned it before recording the final version.

"Friday night beneath the stars  
In a field behind your yard  
You and I, we're painting pictures in the sky,"

The flashbacks start, and I'm laying in the grass next to Edward, and we were staring up at the clear sky, a rarity in Forks, and the stars were out, and he'd been attempting to teach me the different constellations, before finally giving up altogether.

Then, he'd pointed at two that were shining brightest, and really close together, and he'd whispered, "Hey Bells, see those two over there?" I nodded, yea, and he looked at me with this really serious face on and said, "that's Edward and Bella." I'd grinned and laughed and he'd grinned back and I'd muttered something about him being an idiot, but he only smiled at me and we just sat there, talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Back then, growing up had seemed like such a long time away. When you're fourteen, the future seems like a really long way away.

"And sometimes we don't say a thing,  
Just listen to the crickets sing,  
And everything I need is right here by my side,  
And I know everything about you,  
I don't wanna live without you…"

I had known everything about him. How could you not know everything about someone you'd grown up with? With Edward, everything had been music. The crickets singing, Debussy, Linkin Park… we could talk about everything and anything, things that Alice and Emmett wouldn't understand, things that nobody else in the world would ever understand, and sometimes, the silence was more than enough. It was just about being together, the safety that came from being together. It was all enough.

"I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like no matter what I do,  
Well you drive me crazy half the time,  
The other half, I'm only trying  
To let you know 'bout what I feel for you,  
And I'm only me when I'm with you…"

Edward and I came together in a joint package. We'd lost our two front teeth together, we'd gotten the measles together, we'd tumbled out of the same tree and broken our arms together; he'd broke his left, and I'd broke my right, but that was alright, cause we still made a pair, and he was right-handed and I was left, so it was still, always alright. And he did drive me crazy half the time. He was my best friend, he was supposed to. He used to drive me crazy by chasing me around the yard with a rubber band gun, that he and Emmett had been crazy about; building it up with Popsicle sticks, we'd (the four of us) had gotten terrible tummy-aches from eating too many Popsicles the summer we were nine because the boys had wanted the sticks to build the rubber band guns.

"Just a small town boy and girl,  
living in a crazy world  
Trying to figure out what is and isn't true.  
And I don't try to hide my fears,  
The secrets are my deepest fears,  
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.  
And you know everything about me,  
You say that you can't live without me."

I blinked.

"When I'm with anybody else,  
It's so hard to be myself,  
Only you can tell…"

I was having an epiphany, any minute now, and I was sure the obvious truth would jump out at me, causing me to bang my hand against my head and go "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS THAT STUPID!" but at that very moment, Chloe chose to cut in and she pressed the button that allowed her voice to fill the soundproof room, and it jolted me back into the present time.

"That was wonderful dah-ling, now do you have another song about unrequited love this time? Maybe something about a cheerleader? Cause you know, Saving Jane is all the rage right now, and that weird, sad song about her being the girl next door is just off the charts, so you gotta have a song like that baby." I flinched, fighting the urge to flip her off.

I smiled sweetly and said, "yea, I'm sure I can come up with something right now."

She looked apprehensive, but smiled anyways, and gave me the thumbs up sign, before hitting the green button that cause the sign in front to light up, saying 'recording'. I took a deep breath and just allowed all my creative juices to take a free reign, and for some reason, a song popped into my mind, along with a picture of Edward and Tanya.

"You're on the phone with your girlfriend,  
She's upset,  
She's going off about something that you said,  
She doesn't get your humour like I do."

It was one of those rare occasions when Edward had been home, and I'd walked past his room, and heard him on the phone, trying to placate Tanya, cooing phrases that had made me flinch away in disgust, as my heart clenched in pain for reasons unknown.

"I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night,  
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like,  
And she'll never get your story like I do."

It was true. Edward liked weird obscure bands and classical music, like me. Tanya preferred loud, in your face songs, like Low and Britney Spears and all the other bubblegum pop that made no sense whatsoever. With Edward, it'd always been about the lyrics and the music, I once passed them in the hallway, where she'd been ragging him about his Debussy CD and I'd caught his eye, a smirk already forming on my lips, and he'd almost smiled back. Almost.

"But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts,  
She's cheer captain and  
I'm on the bleachers,  
Dreaming about the day, when you wake up and find that  
What you're looking for,  
Has been here the whole time.

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,  
Been here all along so why can't you see,  
You belong with me – "

My voice broke. I couldn't believe that I'd just sang that. Chloe thumped the button that allowed her to speak and screeched into the room.

"WHAT THE HELL?! Izzy! That was a great song! Why did you stop?" she demanded. I looked at her, dead panned. My mind was in shock, I couldn't believe I'd just sang that. Edward and I didn't… belong together. We couldn't.

He was my best friend. I had Caleb. I belonged with Caleb. Caleb who made my heart pound and my head spin and my skin tingle. Beautiful, sweet, perfect Caleb. My _boyfriend_.

"Er, sorry," I croaked. "I lost the song. I could do another one?" I offered.

"Fine," she sighed, as though she was being held out or something. I fought the urge to roll my eyes again. I honestly didn't understand why I continued putting up with her. She was a horrible agent.

I took another deep breath and flipped the pages of my book to something that I'd written in a fit of inspiration by something on TV. It was of course about love that died after a while. An unfaithful boyfriend, one that left the girl hanging, that was always a real chart-topper.

"Once upon a time,  
I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye  
and we caught on to something.  
I hold on to the night,  
You looked me in the eye  
And told me you loved me.

Were you just kidding?  
Cause it seems to me  
Like this thing is breaking down  
We almost never speak  
I don't feel welcome anymore,  
Baby what happened, please, tell me  
Cause one second it was perfect  
Now you're halfway out the door.

And I stare at the phone,  
he still hasn't called,  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel anything at all,  
and you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always.  
Oh, and it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong,  
it rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone,  
Cause I was there when you said  
Forever and always.

Didn't mean it baby."

"That was great Izzy!" She cooed into the room again, and this time I didn't bother to fight the urge to roll my eyes. We spent another two hours recording the two songs, and at the end, she wasn't completely satisfied, but I told her I was tired and I couldn't sing anymore, and she finally released me from hell.

Music used to be really fun, I used to be singing because I wanted to, these days though, they felt like a chore. Chace caught up to me as I was waiting for the elevator. He was a cool kid, went to school down here, in Port Angeles. He smiled at me, I smiled back. We weren't exactly very close, but we were somewhat alright friends, I suppose.

"How are you, really?" He asked me after a while. I looked at him, a little disconcerted.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"Well, you just seem really off." He replied, looking carefully at me. "I don't pretend to know you, but it's just… you don't really look like the Izzy from several months back. Even the smiles you put on for the cameras, they're just so… practiced. So forced."

I forced a smile out at him.

"See! Like that!" he said, a little awed, a little frustrated. I sighed.

"It's nothing. High school is just a little…. Stressful." I finally said. He looked at like he didn't buy any of it at all.

"I go to high school. Even I'm not that stressed. Look, it's not any of my business, but I just really think you need to solve your personal problems, cause quite frankly, you look like hell, and there's just seriously something wrong with everything about you lately. Izzy used to be upbeat and all about finding herself. You used to be inspiring, now you're just starting to sound like a washed-out singer. You need to find your soul again man." He thumped me on the back, then stepped out of the elevator and walked off into the night.

I stood there, frozen in shock for a little while, unsure of how to react, then walked slowly to the car waiting for me, mulling over the things that he said.

His words just kept echoing over and over again in my mind. _You used to be inspiring. Washed out singer. Look like hell_. I tried to ignore everything, but then, I realize that I really couldn't.

Not anymore.

Back then, I'd ran away because everything had gotten too complicated, too confusing, and I'd been hurting over Edward. I'd left and everything had been alright for a while, but now that I was back, I hadn't resolved anything at all. If anything, I'd pushed Edward away.

I'd left because I'd been afraid of losing him.

I hadn't changed anything at all. Everything just became a hell of a lot more complicated. Chace was right. I needed to clean up my act. I needed to figure things out because taking things one day at a time wasn't getting me anywhere. I stumbled wearily out of the car and into my home, where Caleb sat on the couch, watching the basketball game on the flat screen with Charlie. I smiled fondly from the hallway as they both stood up and cheered simultaneously at a basket being scored.

I cleared my throat and walked into the living room. Caleb stood up immediately. I pecked Charlie on the head and walked into Caleb's arms, where he wrapped me in a warm embrace. The funny thing was that my heart still jumped a little, and my skin still tingled, but I no longer felt the whole excitement anymore.

We broke apart, and Caleb understood right away.

That was the thing. He always understood me. He knew practically everything about me, and he'd only known me for three months. Edward had known me my whole life, and through it all, he'd caused me so much pain, so many sleepless nights, spent crying into a pillow. Caleb hadn't done any of that. In fact, Caleb had been the one to hold me and fix me up from one of Edward's many mood swings.

I think I knew that it was time I made a conscious decision between the two of them. I think some part of me always knew that I was in love with Edward, but right now, I needed to choose.

Between the boy who made me cry, or the boy who held me tight.

* * *

_**Up Next in Air Dry:** _

_...I stood in the middle, stuck in the crossroads, either path I chose would lead to pain and heartbreak. There was no win-win solution, and there would be no do-overs..._


	18. If

**A/N: HEY GUYZ!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE!!  
I've just been so busy with IA and English Essays and OHMYGAHH! IB! So anyways.  
HERE IT IS!! FINALLY!! (:  
And this is CHAPTER EIGHTEEN! (: Two more chapters till the end baby! )':  
**

**SO! This chapter make me very, very, very sad. Like SUPER CRYING SAD. I DID NOT WANT TO WRITE THIS!! ):**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything/any characters EXCEPT Caleb! (HA! HE BELONGS TO ME!) **

Chapter Eighteen

It was a sunny Sunday, completely different from my mood, which was just totally ironic. For the first time in my life, I desperately wanted Forks to be pouring, but like everything else, even the rain eluded me.

I'd spent the Saturday just moping about. Caleb had left after I'd come home, I felt guilty for not being able to choose, but even more, I felt guilty for even being in a dilemma in the first place. I shouldn't have to choose, I should've already made my choice and I should've thought that the choice was obvious – Caleb. He was my boyfriend after all…

A soft knock came from the front door, startling me from my thoughts. I glanced once more into the mirror; my brown locks were pulled back on one side by a silver butterfly clip, I had on a large grey woollen sweater, it was Caleb's, one of my favourites, a sweater I'd discovered at the back of his closet on a rainy Saturday long ago.

A rainy Saturday when we'd been happy, or at least as happy as I could get without Edward… I sighed softly as I smoothed the grey sweater over my jeans and headed down the stairs to the front door.

Caleb stood at my front step in all his glory, the golden sunshine glinting off his hair, creating a halo around his beautiful face. "Hey," he smiled softly, glancing up at me through his eyelashes, in a move that was so distinctly Caleb, I smiled softly back at him, my heart breaking slightly at the sadness glinting in his eyes.

"You ready to go?" He asked, glancing slightly away. Sighing, I nodded, slipping my hand lightly into his. He seemed to brighten a little after that little move, and my heart felt heavier than before.

"How was your weekend?" I asked, as I settled into the back of his motorbike. He shrugged as I slid my arms around his waist.

"It was alright. Nothing really eventful happened." I nodded into his back, burying my face into the green sweater he wore, breathing his wonderful scent in, for just a few moments, with the sunlight trailing warm fingers down my back, with the wind blowing through my hair, and the beautiful green canopy around us, I felt whole, and I felt happy, truly happy with Caleb. I tightened my hold on him, and I felt him lean back lightly into my embrace.

"Bellaaaaaaa!" Alice screamed as soon as we pulled up at La Push, I felt Caleb vibrate under me as he chuckled. I scowled good-naturedly into his back, before turning to Alice.

"Hey," I muttered, glinting against the sunlight. Alice started bouncing happily beside me and I blinked as my brain tried to catch up to how quickly and suddenly she appeared. "Wha – how… never mind." I mumbled as Caleb slung his arm around my shoulders, still chuckling lightly.

"Bella! Bella! Bella!!" Alice squealed as she slipped her tiny hand into mine, dragging me behind her as she led us to the picnic site, "You will NEVER believe what Tanya," she sneered, "is wearing! Honestly! Who wears a mini-skirt to a picnic?!"

I stifled a smirk. My breath hitched as I drank in the sight on the red-white chequered blanket. Looking like they stepped straight out of Vogue, the Cullens, Hales and Tanya sat, glittering lightly under the sunlight. The heaviness returned to my heart again, I stumbled slightly as I neared the blanket, glancing up, I noticed Tanya's smirk. Her cold blue eyes silently sneering, telling me to go home, that I didn't belong here. I fought the urge to sneer right back at her, telling myself to be mature, and I leaned back further into Caleb's embrace.

"Bella!" Esme smiled warmly, standing up with her arms open for a hug, I smiled widely at her and hugged back, before turning to Carlisle.

"Bella," he nodded, smiling fondly at me, and turned to Caleb, who shook his hand.

"Hello sir," Caleb smiled, turning slightly, I noted Edwards scowl. Catching his eye, I smiled tentatively at him, his eyes froze in shock slightly before his smile relaxed into a tentative smile as well. My heart started beating in overdrive, and for a second, the world froze, time froze, everyone else faded, and it was just Edward and I again.

"Babe?" Caleb pulled on my arm; I glanced up and saw him staring at me concernedly. Smiling reassuringly at him, I allowed him to drag me to a spot on the blanket, where I settled comfortably between his legs.

"Bella," he whispered into my ear after a few moments of staring out at the sparkling ocean, he wrapped his arms around me again, and I tried to shift my head to look at him. "We need to talk."

I twisted around completely, my heart thumping painfully in my chest, suddenly fearful. I shivered lightly, and Caleb rubbed my arms in an attempt to warm me up. I nearly sighed from the way he was so in tuned with me, but my fear kept me from feeling really content. "Caleb," I started, my voice cracked uncomfortably, and he stared intensely into my eyes.

For a few silent moments, eternity stretched on, and our souls connected. I felt sudden sureness in my soul that this man was everything I wanted and more. He was my soul-mate, my perfection, my Hollywood, riding-into-the-sunset love.

I saw the pain in his eyes, I saw my own pain reflected within his, and silently, the tears started flowing. I lifted my forefinger and traced the silvery trail down his perfectly chiselled cheek, and he leaned his face into my touch, closing his eyes, his lips parted into a soft, sad smile.

We stayed like that for a long time, sobbing silently, with our arms locked around each other, together and alone in our own little world. I guess Alice or Rosalie knew was what going on, or maybe Esme's motherly instincts kicked in, because the rest of them went down to the ocean, and we were all alone. After long moments, Caleb finally opened his eyes again.

The sun was starting to set and the tears caught within his lashes started sparkling as the molten gold hit us. I was close enough that I could count the individual lashes, and I smiled softly at him. He smiled back at me.

"Beautiful," he whispered, cupping my face with his left hand. We stared at each other in silence for a little while longer, before the screams and squeals of the others reached our ears. We both glanced at them for a short while, noting how the sunset cast beautiful red, golden, purple hues against their silhouettes.

Caleb pulled me back into him and rested his chin on top of my head, I closed my eyes, savouring his scent, his warmth, memorising the way his rock hard chest felt against my back, memorising the way his hugs always felt so safe, so wonderful, so amazing, so warm.

My mind drifted involuntarily to Edward, as my eyes trailed his beautiful muscular form on the beach. My soul was torn, and I stood in the middle, stuck at crossroads. Either path I chose would lead to pain and heartbreak, either mine, or Caleb's. At that moment, Edward glanced up, using his hand to shield his eyes, he smiled silently at me, a full-fledged smile, a beautiful Edward crooked grin, my own sexy smirk, and I felt this incredible happiness flood through my heart.

There was no win-win solution, that I knew for sure, and there would be no do-overs after I chose. Caleb tightened his hold on me, and I drifted back to reality. I had to ask myself right here and now, whether I loved Caleb or not. I had no doubt that I did love him, but I couldn't imagine the rest of my life with him. If I were to be honest with myself, Caleb wasn't someone that I could see myself growing old with.

In the back of my mind, in the deepest recess of my heart, I think I've always imagined myself being with Edward. If I were completely honest, I think I've always known that I was in love with Edward; it just took me a really long, winding road for the fact to come to light.

Caleb was still holding on to me tightly, and at that moment, so softly, he leaned in and whispered against my cheek, "Bella, no matter what, I am _always_ going to love you."

My breath stopped, my heart stopped and as his words sank in, the dam around my heart broke and tears sprung involuntarily to my eyes. The traitorous tears stole their way down my cheeks and Caleb caught them with his lips before leaning further down and capturing my mouth with his.

The kiss was fierce, it was needing and it was hot. Our tongues duelled, not fighting for dominance, never fighting, but moulding, bending, melting. Our souls were one and the same. There was never the need for words between us, there were never any walls; there was only need, lust and completion.

Caleb ignited within me fires that couldn't be tamed. Caleb was the missing piece in my soul, my other half, of that, I would always be sure. We would always need one another, we would always love each other, but love wasn't enough. This all-consuming, giddy, elated love wasn't enough, and I understood that now. Edward was the key to my soul, he didn't hold the key to my heart, but rather, he was it.

The fierce kiss slowed and faded into something so sweet, so painfully sweet, and wetness dripped down my face. My hand grabbed onto Caleb's head, pulling him closer to me, trying to fill the bitter pain that was gathering in my heart, Caleb's thumb started rubbing circle around my cheeks, our kiss remained still, painfully sweet.

All the unsaid things within out souls were being spilt out in that kiss, and I knew, with certainty that I too, would always love Caleb.

We broke apart breathing heavily, our eyes both reflecting pain, our souls both screaming, and as we leaned our foreheads against each other, and I can see the weary understanding in his eyes. And he felt in our kiss the decision that I made.

Our lips parted again and he kisses me again, hard. His hands pull against my back, pressing me to him, into him, pouring his soul and his heart, and the kiss, it's desperate, it's angry, it's a what-the-fuck kiss, and it's painfully sweet and painfully bitter. His hands move and it grips my hair, my waist, and I realized that I was crying, not because I was afraid, but because I was sorry. And because, the kiss was like a resounding boom of drums, when all I'd really been expecting had been the silent tinkle of a high C played on the piano.

And my soul hurt with the epiphany of how much I'd hurt him, the full extent of the damage on his soul, and my soul hurt in response. I knew things would be different in a normal world.

We broke apart again, panting, and after another deep breath, our lips crashed against each other, and the kiss is sweet, it's more than painful, but at the same time, it's completing, it's real, and it's a goodbye.

A final goodbye.

We broke apart for the last time, and I was hurting. He unwrapped his arms from around me and he got up, and he brushed his lips gently across my forehead, and then, my best friend walks away.

And I'm broken.

A/N: Guyz! REVIEW! (:


	19. Put Your Head on My Shoulders

**A/N: Chapter Nineteen is up. )':  
*Sniff Sniff* My little baby's growing up so fast... BAW!! OK. I'll stop being lame. :P  
One more chapter to go and then this story is completo. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything/anyone except Caleb Matthews. **

Chapter Nineteen

I sat for a long while alone, staring at the ocean as the red hues faded into purples, until finally, the cackling of leaves from behind startled me. I jumped.

"Bella?" Alice's soft voice floated towards me, turning around, I saw her panicked expression, mirrored on everyone's faces, save for Tanya. I suddenly felt like laughing at that. Even in my pain, Tanya's smug expression still registered. "Bella! What's wrong? Where's Caleb?!" Alice demanded, rushing over, entwining her arms around my waist in a comforting hug. Rosalie came over too, wiping the wetness away from my face, smoothing my hair. I noticed Edward, he was frozen in shock, as the jaws of Emmett and Jasper became unnaturally stiff.

"We-we br-b-broke u-u-up." I sobbed, unable to take a breath long enough for the oxygen to reach my brain. This was hell. I was sure that I was dying. _The inevitable balsa death_. I laughed humourlessly; of course Sylvia Plath would be appropriate for a situation like this. I wasn't aware of how much I was crying, just that the panicked expressions were increasing, shock, panic, uncertainty, fear, pain… the faces started blurring, and all I was really aware of was the aching numbness stretching throughout my soul. Throughout my being, and then, there was a reverberating shattering sound, the silent _plink, plink, plink_ as glass shards hit the ground, and the space where my heart had once been was hollow.

I'd lost my soul-mate, but more than that, I'd lost Edward a long, long time ago. I didn't have anything anymore, I didn't have anyone, and all because I made decisions that somehow always ended up hurting everyone I loved. Maybe this was retribution, maybe this was my fate. I didn't know, I couldn't tell, maybe this was the Gods' way of revenge, telling me that I couldn't have everything, not fame, fortune and happiness. Maybe this was my penance. I didn't know, all I knew was that everything was jumbled, it was distorted, and it was painful. It goddamn hurt, and the only sure, certain thing I knew was that I had to get away. It simply wasn't worth it.

I jumped up, I wasn't sure when I had sunk to the ground, but I pulled myself from Alice's and Rosalie's embrace, and stumbling blindly through my tears, I muttered, "I have to go."

The pained, empty, betrayed expressions on their faces bit into my consciousness, I was hurting them once again, but I didn't know how I could possibly stay any longer. Sobs erupted through the air, I realized vaguely that it was Alice, Rosalie, Esme… even Carlisle had his head turned away, Emmett and Jasper both looked resigned, and Edward… I resolutely refused to glance his way, but I knew that this was a final goodbye. The goodbye that I never said all those years ago, and they knew too.

I turned away from them, and saw, just beyond the line of fire, Charlie. He'd obviously rushed over here after his fishing trip with Harry, because he had a day's catch in his hand, and he stood there, all broken, and I knew that he'd heard my words too. There was weary resignation in his eyes, there was pain, and I felt horrible for causing all of this, but I didn't see how I could stay any longer, but just for one second, I needed to become the little girl again, the little girl who played in the sand box with the Cullens, the little girl who used to get swung across her father's shoulders, the little girl who was raised on a podium by everyone else, the one who was perfect, innocent, pure and worthy to be called "My daughter!" in Charlie's booming voice, with those crinkles around his eyes.

Charlie opened his arms, and the fish dropped to the ground with a muted thud. For the first time in a long time, my father was trying to comfort me, and I ran. I ran into the comforts of my daddy's arm because this was where I was supposed to be safe, where I would always feel safe, and I needed that.

I'd left home all those years ago because I couldn't stand being trapped in a mundane life, because I needed to leave to find myself, and all that I'd discovered was that… I could run, I could hide, but I wouldn't ever be complete without the people that I loved in my life. The saying was true after all, you can take the girl out of the country, but you can never take the country out of the girl.

Deep down inside, I would always be Bella Swan, small town girl with a penchant for slow, old Chevy trucks. And the funny thing was, I was OK with that, and I wished that I could go back to that. But I couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, daddy," I muttered endlessly into his chest as I sobbed, large, broken, heart-wrenching sobs. Charlie soothed me silently, until, after a long time, he pulled me away from him.

"Go, Bells!" He sobbed, there were tears trailing down his face, and I realized that he was just as broken inside as ever, but glinting strongly in his eyes, was a look that I'd been blind to for such a long time. Pride.

My father was proud of me, he'd always been proud of me, and I would always be his little girl. I know it sounds so corny when people say it, I used to scoff when I read it in a book, or heard it over TV, but right here, right now, I knew that it was true, and for some reason, it soothed me.

I turned around for the final time, the Cullens were gathered behind me, Esme and Carlisle, wrapped with each other, Rose and Em, Jazz and Alice, and two empty spaces that I longed to be filled, Edward and of course, Caleb. We stared at each other for a long, long time, my father patted me awkwardly on my shoulder, and I read the looks on their faces.

They were all proud of me, they were sad that I had to leave, but they were happy for me, as long as I could be happy, and I smiled.

Half a smile, but it was still better than nothing. I felt sudden sureness than, that as long as I had my family's support behind me, everything would be OK, that given time, I too, would be OK. The thunderous roars of my first love would soon die down, and all that would really be left would be the distant memories of a beautiful, angelic boy, who'd deemed me worthy enough to be given a little piece of his heart.

"Goodbye," I whispered finally, before turning around and running haphazardly through the night, allowing the cool air to breeze through my hair. Halfway through the dense forestation leading towards the main road, I realized that I didn't have my car with me, or any form of transport, and I started laughing giddily, my sudden euphoria fuelling my legs to go forward. My converse pounded against the asphalt ground, and I took in deep breaths, desperate to sweat out all the pain within me, the aching wound that was left behind from both Caleb and Edward. The wanting silence that stretched on for eternity.

I ran.

REVIEW! (:


	20. Forever and Always

**A/N: OHMYGOD GUYS! IT'S OVER. COMPLETED. AHHHHHHH!!!  
This chapter broke my heart, but it lifted my spirit at the same time. hehe. (: I know the ending is a little abrupt, but I couldn't end it anyway else. i originally had bigger plans for this story, but then I realize that the entire thing that I was building up to had been a quiet epiphany, not one of those cheesy romances where boy-meets-girl, girl-runs-away, boy-follows, girl-breaks-his-heart, then girl-finds-boy and they live happily-ever-after.  
So. here it is. (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Twilight, only hollywood-sex-gods. XD **

Chapter Twenty

I giggled as his warm breath tickled my neck. Sighing, I leaned in closer to his touch, imagining the immaculate blonde hair to be bronze locks, our lips never touched, only parted for stifled moans.

The alcohol buzzed in my veins, blurring the world, making the pain fade, and the pounding stretched on. There was nothing romantic about this. Nothing beautiful, or even remotely loving.

We were just two strangers bound by a strange fate and an even stranger affliction – we were both trying to heal our broken hearts. I felt the intense longing within my body build up, a terrifying bubbling, an excitement; warmth seeping through, and then there was that beautiful friction, the intense pleasure of skin on skin, and my hands snaked up his back, trying to touch more, trying to push against the barriers of clothes. There was too much, always just too much.

"Izzy," he groaned into my neck, nibbling against my collarbone. I groaned and arch my back into his muscled chest, grinning as I felt the evidence of his lust poking into the front of my jeans. I giggled some more as the alcohol in my veins brushed my palm lightly across the bulge in his jeans, a satisfied smirk broke across my face as I felt him shake from a groan.

Suddenly, the elevator pinged, and we tumbled out of the door, pressing up against the wall opposite, he continued trailing kisses down my neck, I wound my fingers into his hair, pushing him into me with only one repetitive thought in mind. "More."

A silent, muted thud, a sudden rustle of clothes.

I looked my, my eyes opening wearily as the back of my mind tried to feebly come up with a lame, tried and tested excuse. Instead of the appalled, shock face of the old man living next door, my eyes met involuntarily with a brilliant emerald green. I stumbled, pushing the Hollywood teenage-troubled-rock-god away from me.

"Edward," I breathed, trying to ignore the disgust cloying within my stomach. Trying to fight the pain that was threatening to overwhelm my soul as the light reflected off his eyes. Shame burned through my soul, and on his face, a single emotion that made my blood run cold.

"Why?" He asked.

Hollywood rock god stood up from where he'd fallen in a crumpled heap on the floor. Straightening his shirt slightly, he stumbled towards the lift, too inebriated to walk in a straight line.

"I'll be leaving now, babe." He slurred, lifting his hands in an almost comical silent salute and fell headlong into the lift, before the golden doors slid shut and I was faced with a sobering sight in front of me.

No distractions now. And my heart hurt, my head pounded, and all I wanted to do was to ignore everything, the way I'd done for the past week, and just succumb to the one thing that could make it all better. Just instant gratification, with no thought to how much worst I would feel in the morning, before the alcohol would calm my frazzled nerves, before the night would claim me again, and I'll stumble back into bed with another Hollywood sex-god and wake up yet again to empty sheets and a pounding hangover.

"Bella! Look at me!" Edward roared, his beautiful velvet voice broke my heart further, pushing the edges across the precipice, and I took an involuntary step forward, trying to ease the pain, to ease the guilt, to stop everything. Just wishing that things could be different, just wishing that life could be beautiful and perfect again, and my heart ached, and my soul burned, and all I wanted, all I needed was my best friend to hold me, tell me that things would be OK, murmur against my ear and kiss my hair.

I looked up. Mistake number one of the night.  
His face looked murderous, his eyes livid with pain, with anger, with disgust, with shame, with… love?

I stumbled back slightly shocked, before I knew it, the word vomit erupted from my lips. "What are you doing here?" I could hear myself slur, but I had absolutely no control over it. I had no control over anything, and I was freaked. It scared me how quickly my life had spiralled out of control. From being small town Bella with the perfect boyfriend to big time superstar with a penchant for loving and leaving. The headlines of the magazines, tabloid papers flashed through my mind.

"Izzy Swan: Revamped?"

"What happened to her?!"

"The HEARTBREAK KID, breaking hearts."

And there they were, the million of pictures capturing my antics, my plastered face, my drunken liaisons. My newest CD; the fearful departure from everything good and beautiful about the world. From my world. I cringed.

Edward took another step towards me, and I smiled weakly, before collapsing against the carpeted ground, and suddenly, he was holding me again, he was murmuring things into my ear, telling me that it would be OK, that it would be alright, and he was kissing my hair again, and all I could hear was the pounding that was echoing through my brain, the empty aching that was threatening to overwhelm me, the desperate longing that came from being so close to Edward and yet so far away.

I did the one thing that my inebriated mind was screaming for me to do, the liquid courage giving me the strength I didn't have in reality, and I reached up to touch his face, his beautiful, perfect, polished face, and I wondered vaguely if I was dreaming. "Edward," I breathed, noticing the way his face recoiled slightly.

"You reek of alcohol, Bells," he sighed tiredly, cradling me closer towards his body, I sighed in satisfaction, leaning into his chiselled chest, and rubbing my cheek against his soft shirt. That was the second mistake I made.

I felt his heart beat against my cheek; the thump-thump-thump was erratic, fast and exciting. I tilted my head up, and before I knew what was really happening, my arms had lifted of their own accord and committed my third mistake of the night.

I pressed my lips into his neck, desperately trying to finish what had already been started, just trying to fill the aching longing in my chest. I sucked desperately on his neck, willing his hands to respond, just wanting to fill the void, but Edward remained resolutely still. Frustrated, I groaned, pulling away.

I looked up at him again, his jaw was set, his lips; a tight line, but the most haunting, most heartbreaking of all, were his eyes. They reflected pain, desire, and smouldering plainly; love.

"Edward," I whispered, my mind clearing up considerably, my heart quickened, my tears started flowing and I committed the last mistake of the night. "I love you."

Quick as lightning, his lips curved into that goddamned sexy crooked grin before crashing down onto mine, and I gasped, because all those stories were fucking true. I had never before ever felt that cosmic alignment or that instant flash that so many bubblegum, fifty-cent pop romances proclaimed. I had once had a beautiful, perfect relationship that made me happy.

I once had a perfection who made my skin tingle and my heart pop and threaten to stop, and I had a beautiful relationship with a beautiful, perfect man who was understanding and loving, someone who had loved me, no, who still loved me, who loved me so much that he was willing to let me go, watch me drive off into the sunset with another man because that was what would make me happier.

But all of that didn't matter, because the moment Edward's lips touched mine, the stars fucking realigned.

There was no earth-moving, heart-stopping feeling, like with Caleb, but it was so much more. It was filling, it was loving, it penetrated my being like nothing else ever had, and I felt _whole_. For the first time in a long time, I smiled.

A full out smile, and as I opened my eyes, I realized that Edward was smiling too. Smiling a smile that I hadn't seen in a very, very long time: a smile that reached his eyes.

"Bella," he whispered, burying his face into my hair, and in that one little word, I felt all his emotions, I understood, and I buckled under the weight of it, and my tears started to flow while my emotions bubbled and I just wanted to scream and dance and jump around because I had never felt so whole before, and I was torn in two because this love was painful, because it fucking hurt, and yet, it was so fucking beautiful and so goddamn pure, and I cried because he was crying, and because he was hurting and all I wanted to do was to kiss him and make it all better, and all I wanted to do was to yell at him and call him an idiot because that's what we were.

Idiots in love.

"I love you," I whispered, and I pulled him in for another kiss, and the kiss was everything and more. It was a promise, a confession; it was love in its purest and rawest form, because it was so painfully sweet.

"I love you more," he whispered against my lips.

"Impossible." I whispered in mock outrage, and his eyes crinkled as his lips parted into a grin, and then he laughed, and it was so silly, and so boy-like, and so familiar. it was everything beautiful about the world. I laughed; a pure, true sound.

And I understand it now.

Happiness. It's when everything falls into place. It's when the world becomes clearer, not a whole lot more beautiful, because the ugliness is still there, but the pain becomes eclipsed by something stronger, and you begin to realize that just maybe you can change it a little, one step at a time.

It's when the epiphany hits you on the head, but instead of feeling like fainting, you begin to wake up, and the air that you suck in fills your soul with oxygen, instead of burning you and making you gasp some more.

And I laughed, because all of this was new to me, this happiness.

This is the happily-ever-after that I grew up listening too, it's after the stars have finished realigning, instead of a final print that represents the end of the story, it's just the end of the chapter, because the next turn of the page brings you to a whole new level, where you're flying higher and higher, headed for the brightest star in the galaxy, pulled up by very, very, very happy thoughts.

And it hit me. I've been running for so long now, and I'm a little out of breath, but the truth is, the thing that I've been trying so desperately to grasp, has always been just a little piece of reality.

And I had it. I had him, my meant-to-be, and it was nothing I'd imagined, and so much more.

**THE END**


	21. Can I Have A Kiss

**A/N: OHMYGOD. my baby! my baby!! it's over. ):  
Caleb's POV. **

Epilogue

_Excuse me for this  
I just want a kiss  
I just want to know what it feels like to touch  
Something so pure  
Something I'm so sure of  
What it feels like to stand outside your door_

_I'm unworthy  
I can see you're above me  
But I can be lovely given the chance_

_Don't move  
I want to remember you just like this  
Don't move  
It's only a breath or two between our lips_

_I know why you left  
I can't blame you myself  
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell  
I tried to warn you  
I've been a mess since you've known me  
I can't promise forever  
But I'm working on it_

_If I can't hold you  
Can I give you a kiss?  
Can I have a kiss?_

_I see that you're torn  
I've got some scars of my own  
Seems I want what I know is gonna leave me hungry_

_Don't move  
I need to remember you just like this  
I know why you left  
I can't blame you myself  
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell  
I tried to warn you  
I've been a mess since you've known me_

_I can't promise forever  
But I'm working on it_

_If I can't hold you  
Can I give you a kiss?_

_Can I_

_All I have  
All I can give to you I will  
Just promise this  
If I can't have forever_

_Can I have a kiss?_

_I know why you left  
I can't blame you myself  
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell  
I tried to warn you  
I've been a mess since you've known me_

_I can't promise forever  
But I'm working on it_

_If I can't hold you  
Can I give you a kiss?  
Can I give you a kiss?_

_Can I, can I  
Can I have a kiss?_

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the newest single by Izzy Swan, lovingly entitled Can I have a Kiss (Caleb's Song), I think what everyone out there is wondering is just who is this…"

I sighed as I downed my coffee, rubbing the stubble growing on my chin tiredly, as I stared at the white top of the table. Everywhere I went, Bella's face smiled at me, reminders of a past that I was so desperately trying to forget. The voice floating from the radio faded into background noise as I slid deeper into the uncomfortable seat at the diner across the street from the hospital where my grandfather lay, dying.

Bella, my mind whispered softly as the lyrics to her song played in my mind. I still missed her, every single day, and it made me slightly, somewhat happier, if only a little, to know that she missed me too. That I had left at least, a deep enough impression on her that she would write a song about me. But she was happier now, happy with Edward, and try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to sneer his name, because even though I was hurt, it didn't matter.

They were meant to be. I had known that from the very beginning, and yet, I had still gone on to ask her out. I had her for a few months at least, even if I didn't have all of her.

The gulf in my heart was painful, it was mind numbing, I wasn't sure if I would ever heal from this, but there were more pressing matters on hand. My grandfather's imminent death for one thing.

I knew I needed help. One person couldn't possibly hurt so much, they would go insane. I had spent most of my life dealing with pain, trying to forget it, so I was an expert when it came to delegating the pain, but all of this, it was all just too much. Grandpa's death meant one thing; it was time for me to step up to the plate and be the next head of a million dollar empire. It was time for me to quash every feeling I had and get down to business.

At the same time, I was quietly relieved. This meant that I had work to do. It meant that I had less time to deal with the imminent pain that I would have to deal with once he passed. Grandma's death had taken it's toll on grandpa, and it killed me inside to know that he was suffering, especially since I now understood how he was feeling, I could only imagine how much worst his felt, especially since his love was longer. I wrapped my hands around the ceramic cup, trying to warm myself with the last dregs of coffee.

"Can I get you a new cup?" A soft voice asked me, I looked up, into the most piercing blue eyes I had ever seen.

Tiredly, I nodded my head, glancing back out the window towards the hospital as she shuffled away.

"Here you go," she said as she slid a fresh cup towards me. I glanced up and smiled slightly, a practiced smile. I couldn't find it within me to smile anymore, now that my reason for living was gone. I wanted to resent Cullen, for having everything that I didn't have. Parents who were still alive, siblings, Bella… But I couldn't.

Try as I might, I just couldn't.

I tried to understand the earth-moving feeling that I had felt with Bella, I tried to remember the perfection that we had, but the feelings were blurred, the lines were fading and the dream was becoming just that, a dream. I was strongly afraid, because I'd once read somewhere that after a while, you begin to doubt that the miracle ever existed. And I was doubting.

I was expecting it to fade away like the faces of so many forgotten strangers, and that scared me, so I held on tighter. I wanted to hold on. I couldn't forget Bella, because she had been the only good thing to enter my life in a long time.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the coffee. The waitress slid into the booth, opposite me, I glanced up tiredly. Her lips were set, her eyes determined, and my mind registered vaguely that her beautiful, vibrant red hair contrasted sharply with her brilliant blue eyes.

She took a deep breath, and my eyes were involuntarily drawn to her lips, beautifully plump, slightly chapped. "You're going to be alright," she finally said, her words coming out in a whoosh. I flinched visibly, and her cheeks turned pink, but she ploughed on resolutely. "I just know it." She finished.

All I could do was stare at her. I suddenly felt like yelling. Who did she think she was?! Telling me that she just _knew_ I was going to be alright, did she even know what I was going through? And I wanted to yell at her, and suddenly, my heart felt considerably lighter, I got giddy, because I wanted to yell.

The play of emotions across my cheek must have startled her, but she sat across me, beautifully resolute in finishing the one sole thing she must have been steeling herself to do all morning, because she took another deep breath, put her hand gently across the top of mine and continued in another whoosh of breath, "I've been observing you, as stalkerish as that sounds, for the past two weeks now, and though I can't even begin to fathom your pain, I can see it in your eyes. But I just want you to know that time heals everything, life will go on, and you'll be all right. You will be, because people like you will always be alright."

I wanted to laugh, to correct her and tell her that 'stalkerish' wasn't even a word, and did she honestly believe in the terribly cliché that time healed all wounds, and why did those words sound so familiar? Weren't they from a song? Most of all, I wanted to ask her how she could be so sure that I would be alright when there weren't any guarantees in the world.

She sat across me, silently biting her bottom lip, her eyes worried, deep in thought, and my hand tightened on hers. She glanced at me, startled, her lips parting into a silent 'o', and I glanced at her through my lashes.

"I'm Caleb," I said finally, my voice hoarse from the lack of use, and her face lighted up into a beautiful, soft smile.

"I'm Liz."

"Liz," I whispered, and she smiled at me some more, before a bell pinged and she stood up.

"I have to go," she rolled her eyes, "customers to attend to, tables to bus, you get the story," she laughed towards the end.

I smiled at her, completely enamored by her un-bitter attitude towards her life. I stood up, lifted her hand and gently brushed my lips across her knuckles, chuckling lightly at the way her eyes unfocused a little and her cheeks flushed crimson.

"Thank you," I whispered, and she nodded, still with a glazed look on her face, and I walked out of the diner, headed towards the hospital, with a sudden purpose in my step. For so long now, I had been fighting the world.

I had been fighting to remember Bella, to love Bella always, but even though I did still love her, I was ready to let go now, and the world got its shine back. All I needed was the push in the right direction by a waitress who was bubbly and optimistic.

I grinned as I silently realized that I would be going back there for a long, long time. Most people had lives that fell into a certain order. In my world, that order had never existed, I had a job that I didn't want, a family that was almost non-existent and some friends I hadn't thought about in forever.

Most people have a web of key persons that connected them to the rest of the world, and those relationships were what grounded and bound them to one another.

In my world, the strings had been sliced, viciously shredded and trampled upon by my own foolish first love, and by Bella.

The girl who had shaken my web and then fled into the Twilight, with her converse sneakers pounding on asphalt, one foot after another. Bella had moved my world, she had shook my earth and made my heart pound, but did any of that even really matter?

"Mr. Matthews?" A soft voice called, and I looked up, noting instantly the subdued face of the nurse, and the flurry of activity within the room that I had left only half an hour ago.

My heart froze and I stared, unable to move. Fear.

"I'm sorry Mr. Matthews, he's gone." The doctor said, placing his hand on my shoulder as a sign of condolence. I pushed past him into the ward; where my grandfather lay on the bed, silent, still, warm.

The face of the man of had been there for me always, who had picked me up and swung me upon his shoulders when I was younger, who had given me my first car, taught me how to ride a Harley, the fine art of picking ladies up, who had yelled at me when I first lost my virginity and then proceeded to lecture me about treating women with respect, the man who had held me as I cried over the loss of my parents, who had never once blamed me for the loss of his own son, and I mourned and became bitter. The man who had lost everything, including a living grandson because said grandson had been a zombie, and finally, finally, after an eternity of nothingness, the tears began to fall. And I sobbed because I was just so confused. My heart felt as though it had been ripped open again, and nothing seemed to make sense, and I was just burning.

Forever burning. I felt onto his hand, wondering when it even became so frail and so old. The crinkle of paper on his lap caught my eye, and I looked at it, blinking several times to clear the sheen of tears blurring my sight.

On it, was my grandfather's elegant script, and all it said was, "Caleb, I love you. Be happy."

"I love you too grandpa, I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, clenching the paper in one hand, the other, holding onto his resolutely, too afraid to let go, too broken to care about anything else, just wanting the silence that came from being in a presence that understood me. And he did. He always had.

And I was sorry. Sorry that I had allowed my grief over Bella to take over my life, costing me the last moments I had with my grandfather. I sighed. I couldn't blame her, I couldn't blame anybody, I thought of Liz, with her beautiful attitude towards life and I began to smile.

Grandfather's words began to lodge themselves in my brain. All he had ever wanted was for me to be happy, and the only thing I could repay him with, was to be happy. To live life to the fullest, to dream big, to do everything I had been going to do before I had broken my own heart, because that was what I had done. Bella hadn't broken it, I had broken it myself, but now, I was ready to move on forward, one step at a time, and I knew that I had to have Liz in my life.

I needed her in my life.

And in one of those moments where you gain sudden insight, I kissed my grandfather's forehead, and headed out the door to deal with a reality that I was going to try to make sense of, always, one step at a time.

disclaimer: song is Can I Have A Kiss by Kelly Clarkson, and I don't own Twilight, only the characters in this chapter. :P  
BTW!! This is important, this chapter was a dedication to Iz-Belle91, who has been an amazing, amazing reviewer. (: And so, this is for you, and just a little FYI, the character of Liz is Iz-Belle91. For obvious reasons, I couldn't use her author name, so I used Liz. :D


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